Peter Davison in 'Time Crash' - the hard stats!

There are so many reviews around for 'Time Crash', many of which cover the same ground & many of which have already covered in blushing detail the ground I would cover, so I think it would be painfully redundant at this point to add another generic review to the slew!

What I have decided to do instead is crunch some numbers relating to Time Crash & Peter Davison in particular, hopefully in a fabulously insightful & didactic manner that will contextualise Davison's return to Dr Who & his performance in Time Crash in a fresh & enlightening fashion...Then I will loudly sigh, smoke a cigarette, roll over & go to sleep with my stuffed yeti...

Anyway,

Peter Davison returns to the role 23 years after his last regular appearance in 1984's 'Caves of Androzani' (no I'm not counting his 90 seconds of inane running around in that dog's dinner 'Dimensions In Time'). I also don't count the 'Big Finish' stuff; not because it's not great or because I contest its canon status (actually I do - but another time!), but because the voice is only half the performance, maybe even less. Davison slots his voice AND his body into the canon, as the 5th Doctor, for the first time in 23 years.

Why am I harping on about 23 years??. Well, it is by far the longest gap between drinks from the furry gallifreyan cup??!! (both as it were AND so to speak) for a returning Doctor. Believe it or not, in the case of Patrick Troughton, the previous record span holder, there was (only) a span of 16 years!! between his last regular appearance in 'War Games' (1969) & his third & final return in 'Two Doctors' (1985). Seven years short of Peter's mammoth 23 years & broken up twice. Pat's gap was divided thus, 3 years forward to the 'Three Doctors', ten hence to 'Five Doctors' & finally a brief 2 years to the 'Two Doctors'. In terms of 'keeping his eye in' as the Doctor, Pat's longest break without dusting off his giddy aunt & stroking his recorder was just 10 years.

The only other returning Doctors, Hartnell & Pertwee, had relatively brief spans of 7 years ('Tenth Planet' in '66 to Three Doctors in '73) & 9 years ('Planet of Spiders' in '74 to 'Five Doctors' in '83) respectively. This seems really quite bizarre to me. At the time of Pertwee's return in 'Five Doctors', it must have seemed aeons since he was the incumbent (let alone Troughton!), years stretching back through the two seasons of Davison & the entire Tom Baker era. 9 years is but a blink compared to Peter Davison's 23 year span. Whoops, I forgot the return of Sylv (a mere 7 years: Survival '89 to 'The Movie''96)...but who cares? The movie was shizen & after watching 'Silver Nemesis' last night, I don't want to think about Sly McCoy at the mo anyway.

Where is all this going? Well I guess I'm saying that for Pat & Jon to have been wonderful & effortlessly slip back into the role was not really such a feat. They were both superb of course, but it really shouldn't have been any other way. They had much shorter times away from the role & were always 'older' Doctors, so the change was never going to be too jarring. Davison however, who through his era embodied youth, vitality & often naive innocence in a refreshing slant on the character, is stuck with the problem of trying to authentically capture the same youthful spirit, 23 years on, lumbered with a (albiet well kept) 56 year old body. The tough question is how to pitch it? By far the youngest Doctor cast in the role in the original series (29 years in 1981), he is now one year older than William Hartnell was when Hartnell, the all-time oldest doctor at the time of his casting, was originally cast in the role. Considering all this, Peter does pretty well with the help of a mostly pretty tidy bit of fanboy fluff from S Moffatt.

The 'time differential' explanation was deftly tossed off so that it didn't seem too pointedly the fix up the 'older doctors' solution that it was. Perhaps with the 'time differential-ed' older body & older voice came the (somewhat out of character) grumpiness as well. I feel Davison's vibe was more 'impotent frustration' than 'stern grumpiness' when under stress during his tenure. However, considering his newly flagging middle aged hormones & 'greying' cells, Maybe the 5th Dr couldn't help being crabby & cantakerous when thrown into a desperate paradox situation with Tennant's charming (in this instance at least) boggle-eyed geek blabbing at him. It was also good to see the character stretched & developed just a little, rather than having it stunted by continuity fascism & the variable & limited writing of the 5th Doctor's own era. Such things should never be allowed to get in the way of good TV & more importantly, good Dr Who. Apart from having to say 'TARDIS' about five times too many for a 7 minute vignette & his first few technobabble lines seeming a bit forced through his smokers husk (not sure if he does?), Peter settles nicely & I smiled broadly watching Dr's 5 & 10 huddle over the console together in feverish Doctorisheness!

If Davison's 5th Doctor was a few yards of scarf & a few teeth & curls short of iconic prior to Time Crash (pretty much only Tom is truly iconic in the role, with the 'twee a distant second) he is now, at least in Britain. The biggest small-screen star in Britain, David Tennant (although I'd listen to you if you argued Davison himself is, or perhaps 'best loved' is more his mantle?), deliciously fetishised the 5th Doctor before the eyes of a mammoth 11 million viewers. He reminded us of Davison's very own 'teeth & curls'; "the hat, the coat, the crickety-cricket stuff, the stick of celery". This was done very pointedly. Moffat (ably helped by Mr Harper) has now lovingly established the 5th Doctor, his own favourite, as the charming british flavoured small screen sci-fi icon that he wasn't quite. Probably I didn't need quite so many qualifiers, 'Iconic' is perhaps enough on its own now when it comes to Davison's 5th. All done in just over 7 minutes.

Well done loves. The Doctor AND the TARDIS!! Congratulations & well played!!

The Co-Pilot's in the kitchen with a spatula & he isn't afraid to use it!

Loves! The Co-Pilot is with us again to cast his keen culinary eye over seasons 1 & 2. What will he find? some hands down cheese & chive crackers? some out and out caviar & champagne corkers? or perhaps some cheap mouldy cheeses?...Over to you Co-P


Rose - Fairy Floss (6/10)
End Of The World - A cheese platter (7)
Unquiet Dead - A lovely glass of red (9)
Aliens Of London - A cheap surprising glass of champers (7.5)
WW3 - A cheap unsurprising glass of champers (5)
Dalek - A spectacular gateau that looks better than it tastes (7)
Long Game - Some toffees, mint creams & licorice that has gone hard (5.5)
Father's Day - Cordon Bleu! (9)
Empty Child - A cellar full of winning vintages (10)
Doctor Dances - A second cellar full! (9.5)
Boomtown - A cellar full of tomato juice :( (5.5)
Bad Wolf - Fabulous champagne & wonderful hors douerves (10)
Parting Of The Ways - ...Followed by a thoroughly wonderful meringue (8.5)

(insert ten-inch)

Christmas Invasion - A fun xmas bon-bon containing crappy jokes, a silly paper hat &
a hom-hum plastic trinket

New Earth - Artificial sweetener (4)
Tooth & Claw - A heart sunday roast (8.5)

(From this point on, the Co-Pilot gives a big contemptuous yawn to scores out of 10. Scores are for books fools!)

School Reunion - A favourite pasta recipe...overcooked
Girl In The Fireplace - A deliciously opulent tiramisu enjoyed amongst tender
embraces & longing sighs with your beautiful lover!

(oh Co-Pilot you old silver tongue you!!)

Rise Of The Cybermen - A hot cup of instant coffee
Age Of Steel - A (Lucozer?)-warm cup of instant coffee
Idiot's Lantern - Brussel sprout & anchovie pie
Impossible Planet - An exotic goulash
Satan Pit - Fondue!
Love & Monsters - Soggy chips
Fear Her - Burnt toast
Army Of Ghosts - The keys to the candy store
Doomsday - A delicious but unsatisfying feed from the candy store

Runaway Bride - Christmas turkey - in the figurative sense & no other!

Thanks Co-P!

I'm off to the fridge....
x Lucozer.

More Delphonic delights from the Co-P!

The eyebrows are blazing again....


20 Superb Scores

The Daleks
Dalek's Materplan
Evil Of The Daleks
The Invasion
Seeds Of Death
Sea Devils
The Silurians
Death To The Daleks
Terror Of The Zygons
Pyramids Of Mars
Seeds of Doom
Deadly Assassin
Ribos Operation
City Of Death
Leisure Hive
Earthshock
Enlightenment
Five Doctors
Resurrection Of The Daleks
Caves Of Androzani


5 Best Music Makers

Tristram Carey
Dudley Simpson
Geoffrey Burgen
Malcolm Clarke
Peter Howell

hon mentions: Roger Limb, Jonathon Gibbs, Carey Blyton

dishon mentions: Murray Gold (90% of the time) & Keff McCulloch (without exception)
(Dishons interjected by the Lucozer :) )


12 Fantastic Directors

Dougie Camfield
David Maloney
Lovett Bickford
Paul Joyce
Micheal E. Briant
Paddy Russell
Derek Martinus
Graeme Harper
Peter Grimwade
Timothy Combe
Rodney Bennett
Joe Aherne


Stay tuned for part three where the Co-Pilot, 'All Creatures Great & Small' style, sticks his arm up the 'new' series & pulls out, among other things, a tiramisu, soggy chips, an anchovie pie & goulash!! Intrigued?, so am I!!!


Lucozer.

5 & 10! - Davison & Tennant have a 'Time Crash'

So we now know that Peter Davison will be appearing in the special 'Children In Need' Dr Who episode as has long been rumoured...

Firstly, Peter looks pretty damn good for 56. Unlike Tom & Colin, he will get away with the extra years as Pat & Jon did in their anniversary returns. Remarkable considering he was by far the youngest Doctor in the original series & that changes from early 30's to early 50's are much more noticeable than say mid 40's to mid 60's.

Of all the previous Doctors, Tennant is really more like Davison than any other (albeit with more gurning & manic moments) It will be fascinating to see Moffatt play out the differences & find a dynamic between them.

Hopes/ Fears etc....

I hope we get a 25 minute story ala 'Curse Of The Fatal Death' & not just a 3-5 minute insubstantial bit of fluff like the 9-10 post regen scene & the excerable 'Dimensions In Time'. I'm betting we will get 8-10 minutes, 15 at the very most. If they've got Peter in & shoehorned him back into his costume, they should let him get his feet wet. I don't want him to get settled then see the credits roll.

A special Davison era influenced title sequence would be nice. I'm sure they'll just bung his name on the existing credits as happened with Tate/ Barrowman etc.

A few salty Troughton/ Pertwee style barbs would be fun, as long as they don't degenerate into RTD Cyber/ Dalek Doomsday-esque 'don't go there girlfriend' clunkers. I wouldn't mind a bit of...

5th Dr (with sighing disdain) 'oh dear, a cockatoos crest & chatter to match'

10th Dr (cutting & dry with a smirk) 'still a vision in beige I see'


or perhaps this...

5th Dr (flabbergasted) 'What's with all the tics?, you're like a hormonal teen on
uppers'.

10th Dr (gurning & scruffing hair) 'Weeeelllll!, we finally hit puberty at 956 & get interested in chicks. I can't seem to focus sometimes'


I fear that my dialouge, although patently fabulous & fun on paper will actually be close to the truth!

Hmmm, let me digress for a moment. Presumably Davison will emerge just after the Titanic crashes into the TARDIS & just before Tennant runs off to step back in time with Ms Minogue. What will happen? Or unless, oh my god!, could they?, no!, they couldn't!, OMG!!!, maybe the scene will be unto itself, maybe it WON'T have a clear point in chronology, AAAHHHH, gulp, maybe it won't even really be CANON. Could it be another DIM? Grimace, gurn, scratch, gurn, gurn, grimace. I think it will be canon & will be taken seriously with Moffatt writing. Let's pray daily to RTD to make it so.

Fabbo then!, bring on Nov 16th.

Lucozer.

The Co-Pilot's message from the Vasmasphere (as told to the Lucozer in Delphon) Part One!

People's of Aneth, please attend carefully, the message that follows is vital the future of you all....


5 Best Dalek Stories...

1. Evil Of The Daleks
2. Dalek's Masterplan
3. Genesis Of The Daleks
4. Power Of The Daleks
5. The Daleks


Best Stories Not Yet Released on DVD...

Deadly Assassin (Oh Lucothther!, 9 out of 10!!)
Seeds of Doom
The War Games
Terror Of The Zygons
The Daemons
Silurians (next year!!! - ed)
Enlightenment
Sea Devils (next year w/ Silurians - ed)
Kinda


21 Wonderful Story Titles...

Talons Of Weng-Chiang
Pyramids Of Mars
Inferno
Fury From The Deep
Horror Of Fang Rock
Green Death
Masque Of Mandragora
Mawdryn Undead
Ribos Operation
Vengeance On Varos
Leisure Hive
Snakedance
Faceless Ones
Edge Of Destruction
Nightmare Of Eden
Claws Of Axos
Terminus
Keys Of Marinus
Armageddon Factor
Arc Of Infinity
King's Demons


25 Woeful Story Titles...

Deadly Assassin
City Of Death
Robots Of Death
Seeds of Death
Seeds of Doom
Mysterious Planet
Planet Of The Daleks
Planet Of Evil
Mind Of Evil
Mindwarp
Time Monster
Time-Flight
Time & The Rani
Invasion Of Time
Hand Of Fear
Enemy Of The World
Invisible Enemy
Attack Of The Cybermen
Revenge Of The Cybermen
Terror Of The Vervoids
The Rescue
The Chase
Colony In Space
Silver Nemesis
Delta & The Bannermen (the all-time clanger? - ed.)


Elocution!!!!!!!!(?)

Gilbert M "I was EGG-ziled from Vas-il-yip" "You need me & I need me!!"
Valentine Dyall "You wretched BOOUUUYYY!!" "rasp, cough, burn, melt, rasp, cough"
Soldeed "Lord Nimon, Lord NIIImmon"
Garron "Don't let me lose faith in you my boOOUUUyyy"
4th Doctor "You're a very beautiful woman..probably"
Borusa #1 "Runthible The Fatuouth" "Oh Doctor!...9 out of 10!"
David Collings
Kevin Stoney "MmmmmPppaacker"
Borusa #2 "The teacher..learns..from the student!!!"
Borusa #4 "it was a game, within a game"

And the winner is!!!!.......Gilbert M...."You don't know his mOOOOOds!"


Doctor Who's 20 Golden Greats (out now on Dino Beta Video? - Ed)

The Daleks
Dalek's Masterplan
Power Of The Daleks
Evil Of The Daleks
Tomb Of The Cybermen
Abominable Snowmen
Web Of Fear
Fury From The Deep
Invasion
The War Games
Spearhead From Space
The Silurians
Inferno
The Daemons
Genesis Of The Daleks
Terror Of The Zygons
Pyramids Of Mars
Seeds Of Doom
Deadly Assassin
Robots Of Death
Talons Of Weng-Chiang
Horror Of Fang Rock
City Of Death
Leisure Hive
Logopolis
Kinda
Earthshock
En....zzzzzzzzzzz...gurgle...zzzzzzzzz!


At that point the Co-Pilot's eyebrows fell silent. Nothing like impending contemplation of latter-day JNT-era fare to send you to sleep....

When he wakes up & transmits further, you will all collectively be the first to know...

Night night Co-Pilot, sweet dreams...Lucozer

A radar blip from Vasilip!!!

Loveys!!!! It seems that the Co-Pilot has re-stablished contact with Wuundanoogoo HQ!!! For the past several weeks he has been on a desperately dangerous covert mission to return Gilbert M from exile to his home planet of Vasilip & help him to rouse a 'revel-you-shhnn' & seize power. Nothing has been heard from the Co-Pilot since he was 7 days out from our HQ on Aneth. Until now!!

The message we have recieved has no sound & the picture is badly affected by astral static & solar flares, but we believe it is indeed the Co-Pilot trying to communicate with us. Luckily the Co-Pilot is fluent in at least 58 alien dialects & body languages; including Delphon!. The lack of sound is therefore only a minor hindrance. Our translators are reading The Co-Pilot's feverish eyebrow undulations as I write.

It seems that the mission was thrown into chaos & disarray when The Co-Pilot's Skonnon Star-Cruiser crash landed on entry into the Vasmasphere. Sadly, from the early part of the message we have assertained that Gilbert M's own long time & long in the tooth """Co-Pilot""", Joseph C, perished in the crash.

The Co-Pilot's Delphon message is hardly revealing what would be expected. No detailed damage reports, no escape plan. His eyebrow elocution is also proving erratic. He seems to be reeling off blushingly nerdy cum exquistely wondrous "top" lists with head spinning speed! Has the crash affected his mind? Or is it a masterfully disguised code? Has he in fact been captured, & not want wanting his true identity to be discovered, been forced to encrypt his true message in the frothiest of fan boy foam. Stay tuned folks........

'Last of the Time Lords' Oh my giddy aunt, oh crumbs!!

I have held off on reviewing 'Last Of The Time Lords' for several weeks. I have now seen it twice & have had several weeks to sit with it & ruminate over it. My considered opinion? An inept, embarrasing & deeply frustrating travesty!

Here's why...Firstly; the casual off-handed nastiness of it. The Doctor has a dog bowl & lives in a tent with hay on the floor...Fabulous darlings!!...thought the Production Office! How wonderfully degrading! Oh! I know!... let's chuck a plastic pop song over it & have a whole glitzy montage of the Doctor's miseries inflicted by the Master. If you have to show the Doctor suffering (which is fine because it creates drama & makes his final victory sweeter) don't be so damned flip about it Russell & Co! Also, the shrinking Doctor looked utterly ridiculous. He was shrunk basically to make the Master seem more intimdating by comparison. This is lazy writing. Make the Master seem more intimidating by his deeds, his words & by the acting performance. As if the Doctor would shrink with age anyway? This is just arrant silliness. A chance to create a second rate Yoda/ Lord of the Rings type of gimp. And what was with the big eyes? "Oh we have to make him look REALLY sad because the viewers won't be able to just imagine that or draw their own conclusions". Why the oversize head? "oh we have to make him look tragic yet also strangely cute of course!"

The most disappointing thing however was the inexcusable laziness of the """RESOLUTION""" of Martha's character. If the unrequited love storyline was going to prove such an unresolvable problem, why push her character that way all season? We are robbed of the chance of watching her character develop slowly in confidence & wisdom next season by having her turned into a cliche no-nonsense action woman on a quest for "oh I don't know...a year?!, Let's make it seem REALLY dramatic" & writing her out for the lions' share of next season. A one minute montage of Martha sludging through snow & sleet for a year doesn't cut it for character development I'm afraid. Lazy, lazy, lazy. It seems the Production Office believes nothing gives a greater sense of drama than casually upping the scope?! A silly slitheen attack? Let's call it WW3!, Dalek & Cybermen trouble?, it's Doomdsay!!! Also, as the Co-Pilot pointed out, the casual reference to Japan burning after the Toclaphane attacks; show it damn it!! Big words, no action.

I won't delve into the ridiculous religious iconography & "magical" conclusion that 'flipped the bird' to hard science & credibility. Suffice to say it was rubbish. The delicate Paradox machine that the Doctor didn't want to breathe or even think too hard near lest he rattle it & break its concentration? Let's get Captain Jack to shoot from the crotch at it like a bi-sexual John Rambo. Everyone will have forgotten it's so delicate after the fabulous diva like re-birth of the Doctor & Murray Gold laying on the gluggy treacle. Anything's possible with magic! (and when you need to wrap up a ridiculously convoluted plot, a character (Martha) & a whole season in about 4 minutes)

'Sound Of Drums' was flawed, but fun & I really hoped the game would be lifted for this, alas it was an absolute fizzer. :( :( :(


A grumpy Lucozer...

'Sontaron Shit-Sandwich' or 'A Vardan Pardon'? 'Invasion of Time' gets the once over.

The Co-Pilot & I bunkered down to watch 'Invasion of Time' with some take away Indian last night. We've decided to re-appraise some of the Tom Baker stories we have written off as a load of old tosh & try & come at them with open (but lubricatingly alcohol impaired) minds. We'll probably tackle the blandarama 'Underworld' next, but for now... 'Invasion of Time'

We had to start with episode 2 as episode 1 was on another tape & I didn't notice when I hurriedly grabbed it to take to the Co-Pilot's house. We took up the story with the Doctor accessing the Matrix with the coronet on his head....

Despite evidence of a tired & penniless production at this point, even before the revelation of the risible tin-foil Vardans & some other blushing set design disasters, it is actually quite involving & mercifully played pretty straight. I was immediately struck by the powerful performance from Tom & John Arnatt's beautifully underplayed Borusa. They have some wonderful scenes together; the scene where Borusa realises he has learned from his old student & also when Tom bellows at him with shocking intensity come to mind. Sadly, after episode 2, a cheap looking but seemingly worthy story degenerates rapidly into a panto runaround & not even the brilliance of Baker & Arnatt can save it from ho-hum ignominy.

On a brief tangent; Toms' lines to camera have been criticised, but I think they're quite fab. Also, in terms of them damaging the dramatic credibility, you can almost excuse them as part of the Doctor shielding his thoughts by distracting himself with silliness & talking to himself. I might be drawing too long a bow there though? You could almost say this story is the turning point for Tom in terms of his Hinchcliffe-era versus Williams-era performance styles. He seems as if he is valiantly trying to deliver one final 'Hinchcliffe-era-worthy' performance before finally giving in to the seemingly inevitable panto silliness of the Williams era by the end of the story.

Apart from TB & Arnatt & to a lesser extent Milton Johns & Louise, just about everything & everyone is diabolical. Firstly, just how bad is the design? oh let me count the ways! shabby brick wall Tardis corridors, Tardis keys that look like failed year 9 Tech Studies plastics projects, control boards that look like kindergarten play-dough models, 'Gallifreyan' banana lounges on loan from the local pool, The Tech Studies workshop where they found the 'keys' doubling for the Gallifreyan Defence shield control room!? Just a sample of the many breathtaking design wonder-blunders that Invasion of Time has to offer. Only 'Underworld' arguably looks cheaper & this makes 'Nightmare Of Eden' look like it had millions thrown at it. The nadir of drab povvo Dr Who set design? Just maybe.

& then there's the Vardans; crap as shimmering tin foil, arguably worse in humanoid form with their ridiculous space soldier outfits & backpack rocket boosters. The performance of the lead Vardan is excruciatingly stilted & to make things worse his fellow Vardans just stand there looking bored (& don't even pull that off) & then there's the Sontarans!! Everytime I think I've mentioned the shoddiest thing, something even more crap springs to mind. Derek Deadman's Stor is unforgiveably woeful & his lieutenant? is worse... "They seem...to have sealed the door...with some kind of...locking...device!" One of the worst delivered lines in the history of the show. All their lines are stammered out in constipated emphysemic Cockney drawls. Dreadful. The superb Sontaron mask that looked convincingly like creepy alien flesh in 'Time Warrior' looks here like the ill-fitted papier mache travesty it was. Come back John Friedlander!!! Even the helmet that once looked like a tough polished metal now looks like poorly painted foam with eye holes poked through & the 'Sontaron Emblem' seems to have been coloured on with chalk in about 5 seconds. Uugh!

Yet more shizen!..Andred is wobbly when he's not wooden. The Shaboogans are laughable; they've managed to fashion clothes, find food & shave themselves in the barren wasteland? Despite Louise Jameson's best efforts, Leela teeters on charicature of her earlier self & her falling for Andred was not even hinted at. How late was that decided? During the filming of the last scene? Whoops! I suppose she looked into his eyes when putting the bandage on his wounded arm & fell hard for the dorky Gallifreyan guard. Well it was obvious wasn't it! Louise deserved better for her swansong. What else....Run, run, pad, pad, pad. Pretty wretched. But for Tom & John Arnatt; Laurels darling! laurels & wreaths!

To be fair to Graham Williams (who co-wrote it) Tom does have some great lines & the CONCEPT of the Vardans is a good one. It was also made with his tiny production wallet empty & had to be written, designed & played at the 11th hour due to another story falling through. However, excuses don't make good Doctor Who chums &; like wet gun powder, leave a sticky mess in the canon!

"Get out!! Get out!!!!"...Lucozer

Doctor Who & the 'Web of jolly-well-not-very Clear'!!!

Oh that it were true! That 'Web of Fear' could be returned to the BBC vaults from where it was so cruelly cast out back in the late 70's!

Even if this rumour turns out to be a particularly nasty hoax, I am amazed at the timing of it. Reason being that the Co-Pilot & I, a mere 5 nights ago, sat down to watch the two (until now?) remaining Yeti episodes together. We had never watched those episodes paired in a 'Yeti fest' sense. In fact, of the two eps, the only one we'd seen together was Abom 2 & that was about 15 years ago on 'The Troughton Years' VHS. Our little Yeti moment may now be followed by a Yeti bonanza!! Pure chance?, spooky coincidence?, or something much more fabulous?? who knows!!

A few thoughts on:

Abominable Snowmen 2 -

Fairly slow moving but marvellously atmospheric. Well acted, superb set design. The outdoor film shots look superb; so crisp. An underrated, quiet gem.

Web Of Fear 1 -

Some great moments. The Hammer Horror style scenes in the museum are striking. Pat, Frazer & even Deb are all on good form. The tunnel scenes look superb. The letdowns are Jack Watling's wretched 'huffing old man' turn & the stilted scenes in the military base. I'm sad to say the episode overall is a middling effort from the otherwise masterful Mr Camfield. I hope it gets better after the somewhat shaky start & I certainly hope we will soon find out!!

The Lucozer (plugging up his fan boy saliva ducts, but hoping to soon let them flow!)

"What You Talkin' 'Bout Bilis!!???"

The Co-Pilot & I are very proud to announce the launch of a brand new addition to the 'wonderful worlds of Wuundanoogoo'. A new semi-regular segment; "What You Talkin' 'Bout Bilis!??".

It is in this 'domain' that we will discuss the more strange & contentious issues relating to the 'classic series' & also the frankly bizarre rumours that are sifting through to fandom regarding the forthcoming season 4...

Will ancient soap-sud Joan Collins steal the Rani's """sonic screwdriver""" from Kate O'Mara in a nasty Dynasty-esque cat-fight? Has RTD realised that he unconciously wrote 'Love & Monsters' as a particularly vicious satire on himself & his relationship with the show & fandom? Further to this; has RTD now absorbed Peter Kay so that he can assume his rightful role as the 'Abzorbaloff' in a season 4 return appearance?? It does seems rather likely to us here at Wuundanoogoo.

Stay tuned...and remember...if someone is talking absolute s@*t, you'll hear about it, at...

"What You Talkin' Bout Bilis!??".....

Lucozers' DVD release wish-list

Doctor Who stories that should be released on DVD asap (with asterisks to indicate pressing urgency of release!!)


** Decent story. A worthy addition to the DVD shelf
*** Good story. slightly surprising it has been passed over thus far
**** Get it the #%&* out on DVD already!!! &*^%# to the wall classic!


In chronological order...


TIME MEDDLER **
A snappy little 4 parter & it would be the first full Steven/ Vicki release

WAR MACHINES **
A modest charmer & the only complete Ben/ Polly adventure

ICE WARRIORS ***
With animation (or preferably CGI) for the missing episodes 2 & 3

WAR GAMES ****
The extra star for the lavish packaging & bonus feature possibilities. The story perhaps only worthy of 3 & a half

THE SILURIANS ****
!!!!! My most anticipated release at the moment

TERROR OF THE AUTONS/ MIND OF EVIL/ CLAWS OF AXOS/ COLONY IN SPACE/ DAEMONS ****
A masterful Master box set. He appeared in every story in Season 8 so it makes perfect sense. A fitting tribute to wonderful Rog. This is really the only way I would buy Axos & the best way to flog off the dreary Colony

FRONTIER IN SPACE/ PLANET OF THE DALEKS ***
As the double header it really is, this 12 part space opera would be a superb anorak filler

DEATH TO THE DALEKS ***
Can't wait to hear the striking incidental music restored!

TERROR OF THE ZYGONS/ ANDROID INVASION ****
Linked by being the final two appearances for both Benton & Harry & also the final UNIT story proper (not including the brief scenes in 'Seeds Of Doom'). Zygons contains some of the finest incidental music in the shows history, as does the wonderful...

SEEDS OF DOOM ****
All hail Geoffrey Burgen! Best TB story not out on DVD as yet

FULL CIRCLE/ STATE OF DECAY/ WARRIOR'S GATE ***
A superb set that would be more than the sum of it's parts. The only way I would buy Full Circle

MAWDRYN UNDEAD/ TERMINUS/ ENLIGHTENMENT ***
A fab triple set of the Guardian trilogy. Enlightenment is the only individual story I'd rush out for, but together they are almost a match for the E-Space trilogy

PLANET OF FIRE **
A modest story. A polished production if a little bland. Certainly one of Ainley's best showings

TRIAL OF A TIME LORD ***
The bonus features & packaging will lift this one above its station

HAPPINESS PATROL ***
This should be considered the 'Rocky Horror' of the Who canon. People should have dress up parties to watch it & lay on hors d'oerves & champers!


Cheers, The 'Cozer

Oh..and as for the Animated/CGI Hartnell/ Troughton missing story reconstructions. GET MOVING BEEB!!!!PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!

Power, Evil, Masterplan, Fury, Web...the palette waters!!!

Peter Davison Returns!!!!!!!!! (?)

I'm just a little bit excited if this is all true. I'm biting my fist & salivating fan boy saliva by the bucketload.

Thoughts that are making me salivate:

- The thought of Dr's 5 & 10 meeting & interacting
- Steven Moffat warming up his typewriter/ keyboard/ quill/ scribing tool of choice
for said meeting
- A companion with Dr 5?
- The (unlikely it seems) potential of a grand multi-Doctor 2 parter in Series 4.

Thoughts that are making my saliva dry up:

- If this is for 'Children in Need' it will be 15 minutes? at best? Probably chopped
into two 6-8 minute 'blink & you'll miss them' 'fun-sized' chunks. This would be a
cruel tease surely?; a sexy wink across a crowded fan convention without a
follow through of some heavy petting...
- 'Dimensions In Time'
- Frothy 'specials' in general
- 'Dimensions In Time'
- A School Reunion/ Sarah-Jane Adventures-esque out-of-character 'sassying up' of the
5th Doctor. Unlikely from Mr Moffatt though thankfully.

But really, I'm just very excited. Peter was 'my Doctor' as I was first hooked back in 1983.

Bring on the bells & whistles.....

Lucozer

A little spelunking in 'The Caves of Androzani'

Oh wondrous Caves! How deep & dark thine are!

I watched the DVD of Androzani a couple of days ago while I was in bed with a heavy cold (or perhaps lite-flu would be a more apt description). It was a first time viewing of the story on DVD for me & the first time I've watched it in several years. I was impressed at how well it held up. I was worried that its high standing in fan esteem was largely due to the ho-hum quality of many of the stories surrounding it. Thankfully, it seems, not so.

Firstly the faults. Nicola Bryant struggles with some awkward & unlikely dialouge. The scene early in episode 1 examining the lumps of fused silica where she fumbles with the terrible 'reticular vector gauge' joke, to which the Doctor replies sarcasm is not her stong point, is particularly cringeworthy. Her accent falters at times too, in that same 'joke', a very English sounding 'glaa-ass' grates in her faux-yank drawl. The characterisation of Peri was a troubling mess from the start really. The production team didn't seem to know what to do with her. There was half-baked botany bollocks, clunky American cliche crap & not much else. That aside, she does quite well in Caves & I much prefer her here than in 'Twin Dilemma' & most of season 22. She is quite sweet & innocent, a far cry from all the dreadful nagging & sarcasm she was lumbered with later.

The greatest fault however is the 'Mire Beast'; an absolutely wretched creation. It serves no important purpose & could just about be excised from the story all together by a nifty re-edit. It wears a cloak too?! What were they thinking? The caves themselves don't quite convince either. Studio floors with a bit of dirt thrown about don't cut it I'm afraid.

The pros? There are a wondrous multitude. Morgus is simply superb. Every deadpan line is a sweetmeat delicacy! Lines to camera almost never work, but Normington not only gets away with it, he leaves me wanting more. He turns the dastardly villian cliche inside out. There is no maniacal laughter or rubbing of hands; just simmering, unblinking malevolence. Stotz, Chellack & Salateen are all suitably shifty & self interested to varying degrees. The scene where Salateen laughingly realises his life will be spared by the Doctor & Peri having contracted Spectrox Toxaemia is particularly striking.

As with 'Resurrection of The Daleks', we have here a very dark story with very few (if any) sympathetic support characters, but Caves is all together more involving. Holmes' characters are more deeply textured & far more fascinating. Resurrection's convoluted nastiness just leaves me cold, but the unrelenting bleakness of Caves draws me in & leaves me breathless at times. Even the smaller parts add further richness to the piece; the icy & viciously efficient Krau Timmin a case in point. Her little side-plot victory over Morgus, dressing him down with her feet on his desk, is a marvellous touch.

Jek, like Morgus, is a masterful villian. Gable's voice & gestures are perfect. He conveys the complex character & its many contradictions using only these things & one eye. Once or twice he teeters on the edge of OTT, but always pulls back just in time. He & Morgus are a formidable duo. It is so rare in the history of the show to behold two classic humanoid villians in one story. Most stories have trouble raising one that is in any way memorable. Jek's love for Peri's innocence & beauty, which in the end almost redeems him, is beautifully played & utterly believable as she lays sweating, suffocating & barely conscious. Gable plays the desperation wonderfully; feverishly mopping her brow & trying to comfort her while the Doctor hunts for the bats milk.

Which brings me to Davison. I hope I haven't exhausted my superlative supply because he deserves to have lots of them shining on his sitting room mantle. The smiling, optimistic & energetic Doctor of early Davison era has been replaced by a stone dry, impatient, dour & no-nonsense demeanour that suits the story perfectly. Davison gives his swansong absolutely everything he has. His ailing Doctor, whether spitting out a very hard to deliver (but stunningly believable) "I'm not going to let you stop me now!", or panting & staggering through endless dunes while being chased & shot at, is compelling to watch.

I was impresssed by the effectiveness of the scenes of the Doctor being chased through the dunes & later carrying Peri back to the TARDIS. The grainy film stock & grey skies combine with the rumbling soundtrack to conjur some of the most striking scenes in the history of the show. This in an era that generally suffered from cheap glossy videotape, garish costumes & ham-fisted overhead lighting. Hats off to (Graeme) Harper! You forget for several minutes at a time this was an early/mid 80's JNT story! The incidental music, although uniformly strong through JNT's first few seasons, is particularly atmospheric & foreboding in Caves.

The Davison/ C. Baker regeneration is probably the greatest in the history of the show. The tension of the moment was never greater before or since. The Doctor saves Peri on the point of death & collapses with the immortal, fearful line that Davison nails; "Is this death? feels different this time". The Master's malicious taunts followed by the 'white noise' cacophany is the stuff of fan boy foam & froth. Stunning. Even Colin's brief moment shows qualified promise. He is immediately arrogant & salty, but with no warning of the mugging, bickering buffoon that would emerge in the worst moments of the following season. So not even the last scene can spoil the grandeur of Caves.

Caves...thou art shining with glowing phosphoresecent glory!....

Lucozer..

The Lucozer's first whiff of spring!!

The following people/ beings can roll the Lucozer's wild oats any time they like!!!

The list is not exhaustive, but I'd be utterly exhausted....

Ian Chesterton (circa 'Marco Polo')
Marco Polo (circa 'Marco Polo'?!)
Steven Taylor (circa 'Dalek's Masterplan')
Brett Vyon (around about then as well)
Jamie McCrimmon (circa 'The Mind Robber' in the void!)
The Karkus (in 'The Mind Robber', right after Zoe has made him submit!)
Alt. universe Sgt. Benton (circa 'Inferno'...I like 'em mean sometimes)
Irongron (in the 'Time Warrior' after a jolly good scrub)
Harry Sullivan (circa 'Terror Of The Zygons', in the barn, with the pitchfork!)
Romana 1 (circa 'Ribos Operation'...raise that eyebrow mistress!....please!!)
Kimus (from 'Pirate Planet'...I would like to materialise around him)
The 5th Doctor (circa 'Black Orchid' in the casual silk robe)
The Cyber Leader (circa 'Earthshock'...that voice...that expressive silver chin!)
Mr Mariner (from 'Enlightenment'...is that weird? probably)
Dibber (with his 'heavy artillery' in 'Mysterious Planet')
'That guy with the motorbike' (circa 'Delta & The Bannermen')
The Destroyer (from 'Battlefield'..with a bag over his head of course!)
Capt. Jack (circa 'Utopia' with those big cylinders!!)
Capt. Jack Harkness (the real one from Torchwood ep 'Capt. Jack...', phwooaaaaarrr!)
The PA to the Prime Minister (from 'Christmas Invasion')
Ianto Jones (with a stiff scotch on a silver tray)
'That kidnapper guy' (from 'Gridlock')
Riley Vashtee (from '42'..'Whoops, I jettisoned our capsule, how ever will we spend
our last moments alive?...hmmm!)


Lucozer...

The Lucozer's little yawny list of 'yeah...whatever!'

Hopefully nothing too obvious here & hopefully a few 'what the's??'...


Revelation of The Daleks
Carnival Of Monsters
Army Of Ghosts
DJ Muzza G
The Racnoss
Brain of Morbius
MC Keff Mac
Shakespeare Code
The Visitation
Master Simm
Rose/10
Tomb Of The Cybermen (sorry Pat, I still loves ya baby)
Eric S.
Idiot's Lantern
Christmas specials
Modern Cybermen
Lucozer lists
Evil robot santas (no more Russell!!!)
School Reunion
Doctor Who 2006

Yawn, I can't even be bothered thinking of any more. This 'uncredible bunch' have made me snoozy & apathetic.....

Zzzzzzzzz.... Lucozzzzzzer.

The Co-Pilot whacks his lyrical (with Lucozer by his side)

Hey babes.

Been well busy piloting tribute flights and polishing off Nimon horns...such is the life of a poorly Skonnan. Haven't had time to post anything meaningful.

As I still don't have much time, I'll just go ahead and post something that's not meaningful...

Secret Sippers

Unstoffe and Garron "Come now my boyyyy...don't let me lose faith in youuuu"
Vizlor T. & the wet vet on the beach (No-one even noticed the nubile, near nude Peri)
Mike? Mike Yathethth...? and Thththtsmith, Dr Jon Ththmith
Leththth-bridge Ththstewart and his Ththstalwart "UNIT(!!!!)"
Cyril and his funny Valentine "Beware...beware....beware....beware...be where?"
Cardinal "9" out of 10" Borusa had "AMPLE opportunity" with Runththible the fatuousth
The Lucozer (!) and the "Blessed" Yrcanothth
Seththth from Annethtth & the Thskonnan Co-Pilot "Thsuck my tribute Weakling thscum!"
"Tiny tower" Toberman and the Thththyber "Controller"!
ThthV7 and "Darling" Dask (Let me put my thsonic thscrewdriver in your super "voc")
Vince and Reubin...couldn't get enough "Rutan" (if you know what I mean...)
Hindle & Sanders "A fire-brating tongue licking me all over" (Hmmm "Kinda" kinky)
"Mmmmm"-Packer and "Big" Toby Vaughan
The Salubrious Chang and Marvelous Magnus (show us your Pee king Humunculous)
Irongron and Lynx "Hey Pig Face you've got a nice probic vent"
The Tththththtthtilurains and the Ththththeeee Devilththth
Glitththth and Dibber "Hey Dibber, how about "blowing" up my black light converter?"
Gilbert M, Candyman and Joththephph Ththeee "I rescued him from "Vasalip" (PLEASE?!!!!!!!)

Stay tuned for "Friends of Bruth Forsyth" featuring Lizth Thshaw and Nurse Lammond.

Kisses ahoy!

Love Co P (with a little help from the Lucozer)




All of the above are purely slanderous and pr

The Doctor's Favourite Companions! (McGann/ Eccleston/ Tennant eras)

Grace Holloway - A ho hum character played fairly well, but who cares? The movie was a travesty with Eric Roberts the poison cherry atop a steaming turd. Don't mind him in Heroes though...

Rose Tyler - Hard to wrestle with. She was such a huge focus, sometimes it worked, sometimes it didn't. Rose was played very well by Billie Piper, but the character should have left at the end of Parting of the Ways. How do you top someone absorbing the vortex, seeing all space & time & rescuing two people she loves from certain death? YOU DON'T!... that's how you do it. It was a huge comedown with Rose treading water all through season 2. The giggly & awkward relationship with Tennant didn't work anywhere near as well as the intense Eccleston/ Piper dynamic. Her increasingly flippant & know-all attitude started to grate too. That said, her farewell was marvellous & Army Of Ghosts/ Doomsday did give Piper a meatier role. A bridge too far with season 2.

Mickey Smith - Mickey improved over time, partly due to much needed character development & partly due to Noel Clarke's performances lifting after a shaky start. I like that he toughened up & gave up on Rose. I didn't like the silly dialouge he was always lumbered with..."Mickey Smiff!, defendin' the Erf!!". Supposedly he's returning in season 4. If it's without Rose & if he's got his blonde friend in tow, then MAYBE it will be ok...

Jackie Tyler - the 'mouthy Mum from the high rises' stereotype was a bit tired, but Camille played her pretty well. As with Rose, the season 2 stuff didn't work as well for Jackie, but I'm a bit of a softie for Jackie even though I don't believe in 'Domestic Who' generally.

Adam Mitchell - I suppose since I included the briefest of companions Katarina, I should include Adam. He was a bit wet for my liking & only competently played. It was a good decision not to keep him on after the 'Long Game', but then why even bother to carry him over from 'Dalek'. They could have just dropped him off between adventures. It felt pretty pointless.

Capt. Jack Harkness - A walking *^#" with a cheesy vaseline smile. Barrowman isn't the greatest actor & some of Jack's dialouge is often grimace inducing, but I like him. I really shouldn't. He's like a big bag of frosted peanuts. You know..the purple ones. They are bad for the teeth & sickly sweet...but you keep eating them. Once you get past the purple stuff though, there is a wholesome peanut inside. Where am I going with this? I don't even know. He had some lovely moments with Eccleston & his scene with Tennant through the glass in Utopia was absolutely phenomenal. Barrowman got it just so! Oh damn it. Even his OTT "here we go again" shoot 'em up in LOTTL was fun. He was shooting from the crotch as only he can do. Leela for the men's men. Fab!

Martha - Sexy, stylish, warm, genuine. Freema seems to be all these things too. Sadly, another potential seasons worth of gradual, inspired character development was rushed & ruined by Russell's ridiculous end of season panto. They can't go back now though. Martha had her 'character development' in a 30 second montage of her trudging through sludge & sleet for 'a year'. Tut tus Russ! Now here's how to fix it...The finale was all a feverish dream; Martha was knocked out by a blow to the head by one of the futurekind in Utopia. Now take 2...Here's what REALLY happened...


That's it...

The Lucozer

Janet 'Fourth Wall' Fielding & the ebullient Malcolm Hulke!

Hi folks,

The Co-Pilot & I failed to produce our long promised Season 3 summary tome last weekend. What we did manage to do was scour youtube for two & a half hours, get some take-away Indian, drink about 15 beers between us & watch episode 1 of 'Resurrection Of The Daleks' with the commentary track on. All of which was fabulous. We are both very partial to a Janet 'Fourth Wall' Fielding commentary. The smoky cackle...the caustic wit...the actor-speak! Marvellous. She is rapidly becoming my favourite companion based on commentaries alone. Now if only BBC Worldwide could have given her a tray of hors d'oeuvres & a bottle of bubbly & let her loose on 'Timelash!' The thought makes me prickle with excitement...yet ultimately sigh at what could have been.

The Co-Pilot slipped the word 'ebullient' into conversation at one point. A favourite word of mine that I don't hear employed all that often. I was surprised to find that Malcolm Hulke sprang to mind when he said it. Why Malc? I feel as if the person I have most heard referred to as ebullient over the years is Mr Hulke. Can anyone enlighten me as to why this should be? Is that the stock-standard phrase used in the Who-niverse to describe the man & his talents? Hmmm!?

Looks like next weekend for our season 3 thoughts...Until then...adieu..


Lucozer..

My dear Wuundanougats!

The Co-Pilot & I have spent the last couple of weeks ruminating over the season 3 finale & the state of our beloved 'Doctor Who' in general. This coming sunday we will be presenting our joint summary tome. Apologies for the delay, we have been polishing our superlatives (didn't take very long) & sharpening our damnatives (took somewhat longer). See you soon chums...

Lucozer....

The Doctor's Favourite Companions! (Davison/ C. Baker/ McCoy eras)

Turlough - Like Leela, Turlough is an odd case. After a striking & memorable debut in the Black Guardian trilogy, he became less interesting as the character progressed. After 'Enlightenment', it felt as if writers were not really sure where to take him. The character had a great exit in 'Planet Of Fire', but it felt like Turlough was treading water & making up the numbers as a generic companion from 'King's Demons' through to 'ROTD'. Although Strickson is energetic & does have a pleasing, 'itchy in his own skin' quality (even after he escapes the Black Guardian's control) Turlough feels like a promising but ultimately fumbled opportunity to do something really different...7.5/10

Perpugilliam Brown - Initially quite likeable in her brief time with Peter (& also briefly forming the foxiest of all Dr/ companion couplings - Pat/Frazer aside of course), the lame 'mouthy American' stereotype was wound up several notches by the writers during Colin's reign & the constant bickering was painful & embarrassing. Just as the character was finally showing potential & Nicola was able to show some subtlety & depth in 'Mysterious Planet', along came the ghastly 'Mindwarp' & that was that. I really like Nicola & I was starting to like Peri again for the first time since 'COA'. Unlike her bosoms, Nicola herself was constricted by bad scripts & poor characterisation & never had the chance to really impress, but then again, look at the shizen season 24 had in store for her had she stayed!...7/10

Melanie Bush - Rather than retread all the usual criticisms of the most maligned companion in the history of the show, I will try to find something to praise. I thought she was quite sweet in the scenes with Tabby & Tilda in 'Paradise Towers'. I did feel sorry for her. She had a couple of ok bits in the awful 'Delta & The Bannermen' too. The character was so poorly written & uninspired that Bonnie had buckleys!. I think she's probably a somewhat better actress than the part ever allowed, I mean, come on!...Carrot juice quoffing, fattie-troubling, computer-programming bundle of sickly sweet in frilly polka dots. You try & work with that! Not really any worse than Jo or Susan for mine & with a far more wretched character brief...5/10

Ace - The thing that annoys me about Ace is that after years of companions being very definitely 'also rans' with little back story or character exploration, these things were laid on really thick with Ace & I didn't find her that interesting. The 'Ace Who' bent of season 26 was not a good move, even though the story quality was generally pretty good. Aldred played her well though & made her sympathetic & highly watchable. A vast improvement on Mel, & though her popularity may have been aided by such severe relativity, Aldred & McCoy were probabaly the best team since Tom & Lalla by the end of season 26...8/10


Next up....the McGann moment, the Eccleston months & the Tennant (hallelujah) ERA....

Love minus zero, The Lucozer...

Catherine Tate - Doctor Who Season 4 - Let's stick to the point!

Just wanting to clarify my position re: the casting of Catherine Tate. Even though I am extremely unhappy about the casting news, I'm also appalled at the venom & nastiness being directed towards Ms Tate as a person by some fans in the wake of this decision.

The problem lies mainly with the deeply flawed character of Donna & also the Production Team's prediliction for stunt casting & the more tiresome elements of popular culture. Let's keep to the point & not make this decision an opportunity for cheap personal attacks on Catherine Tate.

There is no way the Production Team will pander to fan opinion & change their decision on the Tate casting. No way. That would set a precedent from which they would never escape. 'Art by committee' is completely undesirable, even when the 'art' is questionable or flawed. So this is how it will be whether the decision is popular with fans or not.

So to Catherine; I wish you luck & hope you display the subtlelty that I'm sure you are capable of. I honestly hope you prove the vast majority of fans (including me) entirely wrong.

Dealing with the inevitable, The Lucozer..

Catherine Tate for Doctor Who Season 4 - Why Russell? Why???

I have never before been so shocked & appalled by news from the Doctor Whoniverse that I felt the need to blog immediately. My brain is rushing faster than my fingers can keep up.

Why Russell?? 'Runaway Bride' was best forgotten d-grade drivel & Donna was an excruciatingly painful (yet seemingly temporary) abberation. She was self absorbed, repetetive, hysterical & horrendously un-funny.

Martha was warm, sympathetic, stylish & sexy & Freema has played her with energy & subtlety. Why sideline her for the neurotic train-wreck that is Donna, just as she & Tennant are building the best Doctor/companion relationship since Tom & Lis Sladen (big call I know)?

Look, I enjoyed the Comic Relief sketch & Tate has her moments as a comedienne, but Donna is NOT right for Doctor Who. The character I saw in Runaway Bride was utterly awful & unless the writers are to give her a credibility crushing complete about turn, it won't work. There's no way I could stand 13 episodes of her 'humour' & histrionics.

It's not as if I am not giving someone a chance before I've even seen them. I've seen plenty of her comedy & we've already seen her actually IN THE SHOW, with the leading guest role in a 1hr special. My considered opinion, not based on hearsay or panic without evidence, is that this is a very poor choice for the new companion.

Unfortunately Russell, 'fabulous' is very rarely truly fabulous & superficiality seems to have been the victor.

The Co-Pilot just texted me his thoughts on the news...he summed this decision up better than I have in several paragraphs..."Three words...Bonnie &*^&%$% Langford"

This is a sad day for Doctor Who. I plod to next season with a heavy heart & grave fears....

Lucozer.

The Doctor's Favourite Companions! (Pertwee/ Tom Baker Eras)

Brigadier Lethbridge Stewart - Despite the character wavering from a thoughtful & perceptive army man to a bumbling militaristic buffoon depending on the writers, consistently well played & a great foil for Troughton, Pertwee & Baker. The character at its best provided a great counterpoint for the Doctor...8.5/10

Liz Shaw - She was intelligent, quick witted, stylish & played superbly from her first word by Caroline John...So of course they gave her the push & got Katy Manning. The dumbing down & 'cosying up' of the show meant that the more textured & adult Liz wouldn't fit. Stupid, stupid, stupid! Liz is tops...9/10

Sgt Benton - Hugely likeable & steadily played by Mr Levene. Benton is loyal, genuine & dependable. He's also not afraid of a bit of fun or averse to a cup of tea & a girly gossip. No meat head with masculinity issues, he's my kind of soldier. We could have done with some more of Benton...8/10

Jo Grant - Katy's a kooky sweetie, but she overacts & over-emphasises every gesture, hence tainting every scene she's in & damaging the credibililty of 3 seasons worth of Pertwee stories. Despite being 'likeable' as a person & as companion, probably the most poorly realised long term companion since Susan...6/10

Capt. Mike Yates - A bit wet & not entirely convincing as a ranking military man, but he came into his own in a way in his 'troubled self-discovery' period late in the Pertwee era...7/10

Sarah Jane Smith - This is more like it! Letts & Dicks got it just right; a perfect mix of the independance & intelligence of Liz Shaw & the warmth & 'girl next door qualities' of Jo Grant. No wonder she was a smashing success. She was perfect for both Pertwee & Baker. A rare creature indeed. Congratulations & well played!...9.5/10

Dr Harry Sullivan - Probably with little more than the briefest of character sketches such as 'slightly stiff naval Doctor', Marter invested the part with energy, subtelty & humour. Although the part as it was didn't fit with 'Tom Baker in outer space' in the long term, I wish they had kept Harry on & attempted to develop him more...8/10

Leela - Initial character development degenerated into inconsistency & charicature due to some poor writing & uncertainty of direction. Louise's charm though was such that the character was always sympathetic even after dishing out a hearty Janus Thorn-ing. An ideologically muddy character that can't be considered a complete success even though she was exceedingly popular & iconic...8/10

K9 - Silly idea for a regular. Some funny moments with Tom though. Leeson was pleasin', Brierly...not really...6.5/10

Romana 1 - I have already gone on record about Romana 1 & her brilliant 'inhabitor' Mary Tamm; Elegant, dead sexy & sharp as a tack. She held her own against Tom Baker & truly rattled the lazy giant in his big blue time travelling cage. Marvellous. She probably would have been fired for the character being too clever & self assured & for being too good an actress, but she quit. On ya Mary! Especially considering you had 'DOTD', 'CFTP', NOE' & 'HON' awaiting your talents...9.5/10

Romana 2 - Usually seen as the warmer & more accesible of the two Romana's, I actually find the opposite true. I feel she has a greater air of superiority about her & more contempt for fools. She is warmer with The Doctor, but not really with anyone else. A crapoola run of stories to start with (City aside) she still did a great job & thankfully had a good run home including 'LH', 'SOD' & 'WG' ...8.5/10

Adric - Competently realised at best & better with Tom than Peter for some reason. He did have a vaguely enigmatic quality in his first few stories, but once Tegan came along, it was all over; she was his Kryptonite. Varsh should have joined the Doctor. Better actor, less of a damp squib...6/10

Nyssa - Not exactly wooden, but rarely memorable. Tegan's scene chewing grabbed all the spotlight & Nyssa's innocent sweetness & quiet intelligence almost went unnoticed. Likeable but certainly not essential...7/10

Tegan Jovanka - Initially the most grating charicature in the history of the show (see 'Logopolis' episode 1), she was softened over time & became more tolerable. Janet Fielding is hilarious in the DVD commentaries. I wish more of her natural charm & humour had been allowed to escape from this stifling & poorly developed character ...7/10


Stay tuned for the next episode...the Davison, Baker & McCoy eras...

Love me do...Lucozer...

Doctor Who - Season 3 Report Card...

Hello fellow Whovians!!

I guess we are are now also; to greater & lesser degrees... Tennantians, Barrowmanians, Simmians & Freemian Agyemians...

Anyway, I digress, I am not yet ready to commit my thoughts about 'Last of The Time Lords' to the cold, yawning vastness of cyber space. However, now seems an apt time to (very) briefly summarise my thoughts about the season, story by story, to bring things up to date.


Runaway Bride - Flashy chase set-piece aside, utterly wretched. Red card...5/10

Smith & Jones - Suprisingly good romp that transcends it's silliness...8/10

Shakespeare Code - A shallow confection & a wasted opportunity...6.5/10

Gridlock - An unexpected heart string tweaker, against the odds...8/10

Daleks In Manhattan - Sub par & disconcerting...6.5/10

Evolution of The Daleks - Imagine drinking your own urine with some toe-nail clippings & belly button lint thrown in for good measure &..Voila! You're half way to imagining this travesty!...5.5/10 (So bad it deserved a three line review!)

Lazarus Experiment - Slight but fun, with a cracking climax...7/10

42 - Gripping & genuinely scary. Add two hunks & you've got a happy Lucozer...8.5/10

Human Nature - Stylish, adult & only just short of perfect...9/10

Family Of Blood - Something of a let down, but still highly watchable...8/10

Blink - By turns charming & terrifying. A splendid oddity...9/10

Utopia - This is the stuff! Silly savages aside, I was on tenderhooks...9/10

Sound of Drums - Lots of dressing, not quite enough green leafy vegetables...8/10

Last of the Time Lords - TBA....


The Co-Pilot & I have decided to team up for our final blog onslaught for season 3. We will each contribute our LOTTL thoughts & the Co-Pilot will also deftly deliver a sweeping examination of the last 4 stories of the season, in one final gargantuan tome. Keep your eyes peeled wuunda-nougats!? wuundanoo-gettes?....


Sincerely, Lucozer....

The Doctor's Favourite Companions!! (Hartnell/ Troughton Years)...for Peter Haining

Ian Chesterton - A charming & hunky antidote to Hartnell's coughs, cobwebs & mothballs. Steadfast, perceptive, quietly intelligent & stylish in a subdued way. I'd wear his cardigan any day (or Enoch on his wood perhaps?)...9/10

Barbara Wright - A smart & strong willed yet also warm & motherly figure. I would like Ms Wright to mop my brow & tell me it'll be alright after being paralysed from the waist down by a Dalek ray (if Ian wasn't available that is). I hope she & Ian got married & had lots of little Chesterton-Wright's...8.5/10

Susan Foreman - A painful & un-dimensional companion despite the writers best efforts to imbue her with mystique & alien-ness. A dreadful characterisation inhabited by a forced & clunky performance. Tripping (too often literally) at every wretched turn, I'd have no regrets, tears or anxieties if I never came back!...5.5/10

Vicki - An elfin cutie! I like her black & silver collar too. She had a relaxed & charming rapport with Barbara & Ian. Clever, curious, adventurous, woefully underrated & a vast improvement on Susan. For mine, she is the 'new black' where companions are concerned. Maybe that's overstating it a bit, but anyway...8/10

Steven Taylor - Not the poor man's Ian of repute, though initially he may have had to deal with a few scripts intended for Ian. He is passionate & heroic & Mr Purves gave it lots of gusto. His voice is a bit dorky, but his shoulders however..sf00khu...8/10

Sara Kingdom - C'mon. 6/7? episodes in the middle of one story (admittedly a Barrowman sized one). Not a PROPER companion surely?...N/A/10

Katarina - I've only watched Part 2 of 'Dalek's Masterplan' once & that was ages ago. So if I'm to be a serious critic, I'll have to award her the temporary pardon of another not very descriptive...N/A/10

Dodo Chaplet - If she was fired after a miserly five adventures because of, reputedly, 'terrible acting', then Ms Ann Ford's services deserved to have been terminated half way through her bus trip to the audition (sorry, that's probably a bit harsh) Dodo's not great, but she's competent & I think quite likeable. Lumbered with a dorky name, she suffered a dorky exit from the show too; written out half way through a story with no goodbye indeed! Tut-tut Innes...6.5/10

Polly Wright - Quite a looker. Would have set a few pimply fanboys pulses racing & a few dads might have poked their heads in too. Into the LOUNGEROOM that is! Not a great actress, but quite competent & a whole lot of sweetie. I'd go checking out the sailors & go-go dancing with her down at the Inferno...7.5/10

Ben Jackson - Originally cast to be the 'tough' for the ailing Hartnell. Fraze soon moved in, lifted the sporran & quickly showed who was going to be Pat's 'heavy'. Despite little character development & a broad accent that could make any dialouge wince in terrible pain, he did reasonably well. I'd buy him a pint...7.5/10

Jamie McCrimmon - A superb foil for the 2nd Doctor with whom he established a smashing rapport. Charming innocence, cheekiness & undying loyalty. What wondrous qualities. Oh how well he wore that long sleeve black T-shirt in the echoing white void. I'd quite like to be him, failing that, I'd really just like to...give him a whopping ...9/10

Victoria Waterfield - I wish Polly had stuck around & been developed further. She & Jamie would have made a foxy team, the pretty swinger & the simple, sexy Highlander. Alas, we have here the archetypal damsel in distress/ screamer. A thankless role played competently at best; not a good combination. She improved towards the end, but not enough to have me handing her a trophy for 'most improved'...6.5/10

Zoe Herriot - Not much character development here either, typical of the time I guess. At least they let her be a braniac even if not a very liberated one. Most of the time she just huffed & puffed & put her hands on her hips as impotent riposte to Jamie's sexist needlings. Zoe was charmingly played though & you can't argue with the curves in the catsuit or those doe eyes. The Co-Pilot would give her a lusty grrrrowwl if he were here. I'd give her half a growl too. I might just turn (on a spinning the TARDIS console) for zesty Zoe...8/10

That's it for now...stayed tuned for the Pertwee & Tom Baker years...

Love hurts, Lucozer...

Doctor Who 'Sound Of Drums' Review - Lucozer's drum solo (with SPOILERS)

Umm, er, scratch, scratch. Well it was gooood! but, um, was it the whizz bang 'give up & go home' episode we have been hungry to gnaw on like rabid dogs all week? No, it wasn't. Twas lots of ('spirit fingers' gesture) & not perhaps enough ('clawed hand with palm to the sky & a little shake' gesture...quite similar to the 'grabbing someones bollocks' gesture actually, but done at chest level) The Co-Pilot knows what I mean even if no one else does! It was lacking that special something that 'Utopia' had in oodles. The Co-Pilot felt it lacked the finesse & depth of emotion of Utopia & I have to agree. It had moments, but Utopia had us by the heart strings throughout the episode. 'Sound Of Drums' just gave them the occasional, slightly fumbled pluck.

The episode was dominated by Simm, who's Master so far seems to be a comic-book evil 'fool', all smart arse one liners & unresolved adolescent brattiness. It is not the Master I know or was hoping for. The Co-Pilot & I do feel though that if he starts in 'fifth gear', so to speak, there will be nowhere for the character to go. Perhaps he is now at 'Boomtown' level on RTD's 'fabulometer', with the intention of being cranked up to 'Bad Wolf' in a year or two. There may be some Rusty wisdom at work & we may have to live with a slow build if we want to see many more Dr/ Master tete-a-tetes over the next few years that aren't bogged down by plateaud repetition. Let's hope a darker, less comedic characterisation will emerge with time. Simm does well & is marvellously entertaining, but the characteristation (for now at least) is flawed & he is capable of much more than the (albeit expensive smoked) ham we have seen so far.

Capt. Jack felt a little superfluous to proceedings this week, I hope he gets more to do in the lavish finale. Freema's Martha was lovely to watch as per usual & was kept busy. Tennant was pretty strong again & one of the few moments of real emotion in the episode was seeing the resigned hopelessness in the face of the aged Doctor as he looked at the havoc being wrought by the Toclaphane. A rare occasion in the new series where I couldn't imagine an easy escape with a boastful quip & a good sonic screwdriver-ing. The other emotional bits were Martha's reaction to her family being bundled away in the van. The scene at her house was a tidy little action set piece. I also felt the scenes on Gallifrey were well handled. They looked sumptuous & had a suitable grand austerity about them. Lovely to see the Time Lord garb hadn't changed too. Speaking of nice little bits of fanboy foaming continuity; the Masters 'People's of the earth, please attend carefully' speech had me putting a big golden tick in a mental box & sending flowery notes of telepathic congratulation to RTD & his feverishly busy quill.

All the drum schtick (sorry!) had such a sinister, foreboding bent in Jacobi's hands; shame it became a nasty party trick set to the wretched strains of Rogue Traders with Mr Simm. Quite a let down even though the idea was clever. I hope there is greater significance to the drums to be explored next week, beyond the coded mobile phone bleeps.

So, the action was flash, the master's meddling using another species was truly in character (see 'Terror Of The Autons' & 'Survival' etc) & the cliffhanger was pretty tense. So let's have some more emotional resonance generally & a little less 'vengeful spoilt teenager' from the Master & we may yet have a classic on our hands. Instinct says it will be more 'Doomdsday' than 'Parting Of The Ways', which isn't a great thing, but neither is it bad thing. It is merely the lesser of two pretty goods.

Cheers & Chockers, Lucozer.

La Stupenda! (& I don't mean Dame Joan) - A Doctor Who 'Utopia' Review

Wow wee!!! The Co-Pilot & I were (briefly) speechless at the conclusion of this hum dingler of an episode. The Co-Pilot was heard to wonder aloud whether the last 15 minutes or so were the greatest in the shows (44 year) history? I was heard to reply, "shit yeah"! or something equally as considered & incisive.

Well, let's briefly pick at the minor problems before hanging some tinsel & whipping some double cream! The 'savages' looked a bit naff & their back story wasn't really developed enough (perhaps that's still to come). In fact, a sense of excessive rush pervaded the whole episode. It didn't need 2 parts to flesh things out, maybe just another 10-15 minutes would have sufficed. I was also disappointed not to see more from Mr Jacobi, his regeneration came too soon after his fob watch 'rememberance'. His brief moment of Master-ly menace was all too miserly & minute. In that small moment though, he showed the genius that has afforded him legendary status within his craft. The change in his eyes after he opened the watch & 'became' the Master was absolutely superb. He didn't need to wave his arms around maniacally or arch his eyebrows. True class Dezza!

On the 'goodies' side, Capn Dick Barrowman actually managed to convey some genuine depth & rouse some palpable pathos, particularly when he described having to live through nearly 140 chaotic & violent years of earth history, no doubt loving & losing many more times than anyone could be expected to endure & no doubt having to keep moving so as not to rouse suspicion of his unageing countenance. Barrowman is improving all the time & the character has become much more sympathetic in light of the revelations.

Tennant, despite the usual few moments of silly mugging & juvenile boasting, had some of his finest moments as well. The scene where he talks to Jack through the protective glass as Jack pulls out the big cylinders (ooh er) was just about faultless. I loved his delivery of "you're wrong Jack" & the whole scene really. He got everything right; tone of voice, gestures. Lovely stuff. The Doctor seemed genuinely spooked because Jack is beyond even his vast capacity for comprehension & imagination. I found their discussion striking & quite shocking. Can you imagine any other Doctor deliberately abandoning a good friend in that way? In the 'classic' series there would have been some silly sci-fi wank way to fix Jack & the Dr would never have left him. Not here though. There's no easy answer or 'it'll be alright' pats on the back. This is adult stuff. The themes are darker & more complex that we've ever had to deal with in Dr Who. At 30ish we are ready for it. We couldn't have handled that at age 8 probably. We have grown up; & finally, so has Dr Who.

This pivotal Jack/Dr scene was undoubtedly a difficult scene to play 'just right' because of the complexity of the emotions involved. Despite the frantic activity & high stakes involved, David & John play against the pervading mood of extreme tension with a lovely calm stillness, aided by Mr Harper's brill direction. This will be looked upon as a major scene in the canon. Theses will be written, mark my word.

Oh & I thought the blue crustacean lass was just lovely. Sad to see her dealt with so callously by the Master in his first act of unconscionable cruelty.

RTD, I beg forgiveness for ever doubting you. You are every inch of your 6'7" the genius that some say you are. Sure, you have had your best forgotten moments (New Earth, WW3), but you've also been near perfect (Bad Wolf & a couple of others) & you didn't take many wrong steps here. You have a vivid imagination & the masterful talent to wrangle your ideas into a cracking bit of 45 minute Teev.

The fob watch revelation was wondrous & the moments leading up to its opening as all the pennies dropped were utterly breathtaking. Even the wildly inconsistent Murray Gold had my stomach knotting (in a good 'scared shitless but very excited' way).

- A few predictions/ thoughts/ excited rubs (of my hands that is)

If the Master & the Doctor escaped out the 'back door' (so to speak) & into rusty old timepieces, did other Time Lords escape the same way? Is there a giant fob watch in RTD's pants pocket? The Daleks had their Genesis Arc. I'm certain the Time Lords will rise again!

How does the Dr escape the futuristic outpost? Does the Master send back the TARDIS with a programmed flight to trap the Doctor, who would rather be trapped by the Master than lose his beloved 'old girl'.

Is Tennant in it next week? He wasn't in the add. Will we now be having a Dr-lite AND a Doctor-less episode each season? Come on Dave! I can hear Willy & Patty turning in their urns. Absences are certainly not presences where the lead actor is concerned.

Anyway, questions, questions, criticisms, congratulations, questions...

Hurraaahhh!! Lucozer.....

Alien Nurture - Co-Pilot blows kisses to Paul Cornell.

Human Nature

Exciting. Mature. Enters new territory for the show. Human Nature is terrific really. At times it evokes the best memories of eerie 70s Who with creepy faced villains, well-realised period setting and creepy monster set pieces. It is perhaps not the all conquering epic I was hoping for, but heh, expectations schmecpectations...you have to take it for what it is...and all things said and done I'm happy to take this (wherever you want to put it!)

This is a story full of interesting characters. Martha is fabulous - we feel her confusion and pain and Freema manages the range required well. The flashback sequences in the Tardis are fantastic and full of drama. Sorry Lucozer you are wrong on this one, she is terrific.

Tennant is actually very good here as well–. On first viewing I thought he was a bit too samey as John Smith - not enough distinction between the roles, but on a second viewing, I think he gets it just right.

Of the others, Joan is a very sympathetic character, despite her dissing of Martha. The intriguing child from Love Actually is rivetting - one– can't wait to see how his involvement unfolds...is he going to feature in future stories? Are there clues here for the rest of the season? He does look a touch like a wee Sir Derek or a wee Sir Simm...

Flaws: Baines doesn't look right. His face has a weird, unearthly quality - even when he is playing it straight. Before he is possessed, as he stands and watches the green lights decend, there is a strange close up on his face in which he looks totally bizarre. Thankfully when he is possessed he is quite chilling.

Other flaws: The ludicrous green guns, the cricket ball scene - a bit silly really and the cliffhanger was a tad obvious too.

The Jack Straws are OK –though perhaps not as threatening as they might have been. I can see kids freaking out however.

And just what do we make of the trailer: the Doctor married? And with a baby?!!!

A character drama which could go into facinating darker territory, Human Nature is very tasty and edges 42 as the premier story of the season, thus far. Nice work Paul.

St David at the Pearly Gatiss

The Lazarus Experiment

More throwaway fare, The Lazarus Experiment is a comic-book tale, with a comic-book deluded scientist who turns into a comic-book monster-villain. Needless to say, it is fairly inconsequential. Needless to also say, it is enjoyable nonetheless.

The premise of the story couldn't be simpler: the misguided Professor Lazarus has found a way to reverse the aging process...with predictably devestating results. Familiar RTD themes – science perverted by vanity (New Earth), and the messing with biology to find and distill some true essence of what it is to be human (ie Human Nature, Rise of the Cybermen, Dalek, Daleks in Manhattan etc etc) get another run here. Sadly nothing really new is brought to the table in these regards.

This is a visual story and on this count it fairs well. The FX are reasonably good (I dare say impressive...if you like that kind of thing). The remains of the victim's bodies are suitably grisly, and the monster itself is quite well realised, as far as CGI goes. Lazarus's machine and in fact his whole institute are well realised.

Martha has some good stuff to do in this - she seems to be growing into the role after a few early flat spots. The delicious moment where the Doctor produces the sonic screwdriver in the confined space and pops down out of screen, much to Martha's surprise (and our delight), is fabulously playful and a touch risque.

On the other hand, just what exactly is going on with the Jones Family? It seems as if the writing team is unsure of quite how to handle them. Not as annoyingly prominent as the Tylers, but neither are they as interesting...why include them at all if they are not going to be given the chance to develop as characters or provide us with much substance by way of Martha's backstory. Perhaps these developments will emerge, but so far The Jones' are stuck in cliche-ville.

Also on the down side, Mark Gatiss as Lazarus gives a performance that is self aware and over the top. Perhaps the script and style of production demands of him the one-dimensiaonal characterisation he produces...or perhaps he just overplays it. Either way, his discomfort in the role is evident on the screen. Following his showing here and the forgetable Idiot's Lantern, Gatiss's Who stocks seem to have fallen somewhat, after the truly marvellous Unquiet Dead.

One thing this story really has going for it, is its golden, cheesey finale. How we cherish the sights and sounds of the Doctor (with flailing quaff) pumping the pedals with his sneakers and smashing the keys with his fingers...saving the day by playing the church organ at 11! The whole thing builds up to a Tennant-era defining crescendo of kitch! Needless to say, many peaks of hillarity were reached at the Lucozer Lounge!

Lazarus is OK...entertaining but lightweight...though certainly a few notchs higher up the ladder than the lamentable Ablution of the Daleks. A final thought - The Claws of Saxos are coming!

Mother of All Doctor Who Marathons: Part Two

After viewing 'Seeds of Doom' & by now pretty drunk, The Co-Pilot & I fought off tiredness to have a squizz at part one of 'Planet of Spiders'. Much to my pleasure & a smidge of surprise, it was an atmospheric & creepy first episode. The Yates/Sarah car crash & chanting scenes are particularly striking. We decided it was a good point to stop & turn in for the night, remembering what was to come.

The following morning, with fresh eyes & brains, we picked up with part two. Like 'Invasion of The Dinosaurs' earlier in the season, a strong first part is followed by a sharp decline in quality in ensuing episodes. Parts 2 & 3 are largely taken up by an extended chase sequence. It seems as if the Production team got to the end of the season & realised that they hadn't met the stipulations Mr Pertwee had made in his contract that during the season he must get to drive 'abtholutely everything that goeth!' on God's green earth. They had to shoehorn it all into the last story. It's all good fun, but the chase is also what you would find on an online video encyclopaedia under 'padding'. It takes the cake (& the cake tin, the oven & the baker) in that regard.

After parts 2 & 3, the Co-Pilot & I seperated our conjoined Dr Who brains for a few hours to continue on with such trifling matters as washing, eating & connecting with the outside world. We reconvened during the evening to watch 'Blink' with our other chums & they joined us for parts 4-6 after that.

So, some more problems with this story before I find praise for it. There is some ghastly CSO (points for trying to create a truly alien looking world though) & the design is pretty drab across the board. The spiders throne room looks like a showroom for 1970's classroom furniture. POS also contains some of the most wretched performances by guest cast in the history of the show ("my husband, husband!"). The natives are as wooden as they come & rouse no interest or sympathy. The most awkward performance is that of the chap playing Lupton. It is a crucial role as he is the main humanoid villian. He fails to convince; his acting 'style' an amateurish mix of 'Harold from Neigbours'-esque bluster & constipation. He manages to convey the abominable nature of his character, but that's about all. You can see all the cogs grinding & it's painful to watch. His cronies don't fare much better, all forgettable apart from his second in command who manages to muster a little mystery & depth.
Kismet Delgado tries to make up for all the wood by laying it on thick; "Until, until, until...bow down planets, bow down stars'. She could have wound it down about 3 notches & still been memorable.

'POS' is never dull despite all that hamstrings it. It is carried along by the unsettling sense of impending crisis for the Doctor & several iconic moments that are etched upon my mind & gave me such childhood joy. I speak of Tommy looking into the crystal, the spider appearing on Sarah's back & her speaking with the spiders voice, the Tibetan chanting. Marvellous stuff. Jon gives a strong final performance, handling well the the come-uppance he recieves for his thirst for knowledge & curiosity causing death & destruction. He also exhibits the wonderful humility & sensitivity towards other cultures & those he can learn from that I have come to expect & cherish him for. This is an area in which he excels & he is truly 'the man' among his other selves. Tom & Patrick could not do this as effectively & as genuinely as Jon.

The production does seem tired & so does Pertwee at times, but in a way that suits the conclusion of utter exhaustion & the desperate need for renewal. Kevin Lindsay's Cho-Je is a charming mix of frustrating enigma & cheerful wisdom. It is a lovely touch that he is there to comfort Sarah & give the Doctor's regeneration a helpful nudge. Lovely also that the Dr had been missing for 3 weeks since he had left to return the crystal. It created more emotional texture for Sarah & upped the ante for the final scene. POS is deeply flawed as I have explored (sorry about the trite ryhme) but it is really very much 'classic' Dr Who. What I mean is that so much of the show is of this quality & we adored it as kids. How many stories are in the league of Genesis & Pyramids? (2% perhaps?) I'd say that 40% of Dr Who stories are in the ballpark of this story & that was more than enough to make a fan of me & keep me watching.


So onto 'Blink'....

Perhaps not the absolute pants wetter of promise? It was still jolly scary at times. The idea of an alien that can only act when not observed. Marvellous. The subtle changes in the statues as a person passes across our view of them are fantastic. The scene in the basement with the flashing lightbulb is one of the scariest in Dr Who ever. That would make any 'scary bits' mix tape I could muster. Wonderfully claustrophobic. The Doctors plot to have them look at each other is a clever little peice of Doctorly derring-do as well. Great stuff.

I was pleased that the Doctor & Martha are scattered through the episode rather than just in one tack-on scene. It made their presence (or lack of) seem much less like the contractually stipulated (week off?) that it is. This ripping little pot-boiler gives last years Dr-lite 'Love & Monsters' a good seeing to in every respect.

The 'lead' guest cast are pretty solid all around, with the added benefit of a few sexy minxes for the chaps who are into that sort of thing. As for me, I had to make do with the lad from the 20's & his all too brief moment. Oh well, I have had it pretty good so far this season. Unckie Rusty is taking care of my needs in that respect pretty well this year. & Capt. Dick is bringing 12" of sexy back next week!

So lots of clever & scary & very little groan & grimace. Let's hope this is a mere tasty apertif for the mouth watering banquet ahead.


(Exhasuted & waxed out) Lucozer....

Mother Of All Doctor Who Marathons: Part One

The Co-Pilot & I have just this weekend subjected our wits & senses to a mammoth Doctor Who marathon during which we imbibed 16 episodes of Dr Who (including a fresh out of the oven 'Blink') over a 30 hour period. About 9 of those 30 hours were taken up by exhausted sleep, so we didn't do much else. It was fab!

We began our epic eyeball workout on Saturday afternoon with 'Greatest Show In The Galaxy'. I was expecting the usual latter-day JNT era garish, panto-esque trimmings for sure, but I was also expecting a redeeming dark & unsettling undercurrent & some moments of genuine terror & suspense that would lift the flawed production to (dare I say) late-era-minor classic status (lots of qualifications I know). Sadly, I was disappointed in every diabolical department. Performance wise, McCoy is merely competent (with the requisite grimacing teeth & rolling 'r's in plentiful supply). He falls short of his later impressive performances in the likes of 'Ghostlight' & 'COF'. Sophie Aldred really has very little to do & like McCoy is a fair way off her season 26 peak.

The guest cast are uniformly poor (varying from wooden dullness; 'Flowerchild', to excruciatingly OTT charicature; 'Nord', 'The Captain'....) with one glowing exception; The Chief Clown. He scales grand heights of sinister menace when considering the lack of effort & credibility around him. I love his breathy, wide- eyed, halting delivery of his lives. He obviously thought about the character for more than two seconds. His smily face/ hand gesture is absolutely magnificent. This is the stuff of Dr Who! Vaguely disturbing & perfect for playground imitation everywhere. If the Co-Pilot & I were still in year 3 at school (maybe even year 11 if no one was around!), we would be mimicking that gesture at recess tomorrow without a doubt. He nailed it & no one else in the sorry cast did.

The concept is quite a strong one; the Gods of Ragnarock on an unceasing hunt for thrills through the aeons, destroying performers who fail to quench their thirst for entertainment or can't keep them interested. Also, the idea of the story being a parable for the whole show itself is potentially interesting & quite noble, but the design, direction & script are all blushingly sub par & render those promising ideas sadly impotent. Clunky camerawork, wafer-thin characters, laughable dialougue ('your kites, your beautiful kites' delivered with all the panache of a plank of 2 b 4) & as for the sass-talking stereotype that is the Ringmaster throwing 'baby's' around willy nilly.... All these awful elements add up to a wretched mess. The 'Happiness Patrol' is often held up as the 'finest' example of all that was wrong with late 80's Dr Who, but this is the grand contender for that ignoble title for me (from season 25 at least). The best that can be said about this rubbish is that it is still a good deal better than most of season 24. This would get Dr Who a life sentence in a court of Televisual law, whereas most of season 24 would see the show on death row.

Some good incidental music aside (which can often lift drivel into atmospheric watchability) this just doesn't work. I really thought this was going to be much better & I didn't really expect that much from it, which is often my downfall when trawling the 'Who archives'. I knew I'd have to sift through the shit to find the nuggets (gold ones that is). One nugget (the Chief Clown) & a load of...

After the brief detour of a Traveling Wilburys documentary & a marvellous dinner at a nearby Cafe, we then recommenced the marathon with the esteemed 'Seeds of Doom'.

We began with episode 2 as we had watched & thoroughly enjoyed part one on Youtube a week ago. I expected a lot from this grand & ambitious epic & for the most part I wasn't disappointed. Parts 1 & 2 particularly, at the Antarctic base, are a master class in 'how to do' Dr Who. Claustrophobic camera work, moody visuals, strong nuanced performances, inspired characterisation & taut direction all topped off by one of the greatest incidental scores in the history of the show (by the wildly talented & shamefully underused Geoffrey Burgon). The strings & woodwind score is absolutely bone chilling & used to brilliant effect.

Tom Baker gives one of his greatest performances; well past the finding-his-feet nerviness of his very early episodes & before the 'bored & restless God' schtick of his mid to late era, he is sublimely alien. No one can touch him. I would even go so far as to say this is as good as our beloved Doctor gets (nudging out Troughton by the thinnest of whiskers). Tom can turn on a needle head. From disarmingly flippant to brutally intense in half a blink. Even after 25 years of innumerable viewings of his work, his deftly delivered one liners & masterful body language had the Co-Pilot & I in complete awe. From hysterical laughter to slack jawed disbelief, we were but putty to a true master. The fact that even his throwaway quips & boggle-eyed grinning head tilts made us leave the comfort of warm rugs on a cold night to rewind the tape on more than one occasion speaks volumes. The man is a genius & this was him near his peak.

There is really not much to criticise. Tony Beckley's 'Chase' is a textured & fascinating adversary. He only has a couple of slight stumbles. His second or third take on 'Why am I surrounded by fools/ imbeciles/ idiots' seems flat & unispired, as if he's thinking 'oh dear, surely they could have found a slight variation on this daft line' or 'I already realised I'm among dullards half an hour ago, why am I so shocked to realise it again?'. I love the be-gloved symphonic wankery with his organ knobs. Wonderful disturbed villianery!

Of course the large Krynoid looks crap, but the sound it makes is wonderful & everyone involved plays with such passion & energy that it really is easily overlooked. Past viewings have lessened the deflation of first seeing it's silly CGI head wobbling above the mansion. Part 6 is where 'Seeds' falls a little flat & this perhaps partly explains why (particularly after the peerless first two parts) this doesn't quite rival 'Genesis' in fan esteem. The 'blow it up' finale & UNIT tack on is lazy & painfully predictable. It is also padded & the tension does drop well before the end of the episode. 'Seeds' had scaled such heights though & maintained them through the lions share of the story, that I can forgive it's coughing stumble down the home straight. Mr Camfield excels for the most part as we'd expect, but seems to realise a UNIT shoot 'em up finale is bound to be lame no matter how you play it. Perhaps he handed over the directorial joystick to a green but ambitious young Graeme Harper for the last half an episode & took off down the pub with Beckley!

Some of the grizzliest & most potent cliffhangers of all-time (Sarah clamped next to the opening pod, the blood & bone grinder set piece) are the icing a-top inspiration & class on all levels of the production. This a rare animal; utterly terrifying in childhood, pleasingly atmospheric, credible & entertaining in adulthood & also, a story to proudly show the 'non-believers' in our lives. A story that might just garner some sympathy & understanding for our strange obsession.


To be continued...

Next episode..I will wax on 'Planet Of Spiders' and 'Blink'...

Family of Blood - Lucozer's review

Hi folks,

Having watched 'Human Nature' again prior to 'Family Of Blood', I can see that my review last week was too easy on the former. I still agree with my criticisms, but to frivolously praise all else as masterful, gripping &/or fabulous was overstating the greatness of what was certainly a strong & involving, but far from perfect opening part. On paper, this two parter should have been the 'critical' highpoint of the season (with the 'whizz bang melodramatic' high point in the season concluding 2 parter going by past form). However, It was the not the 'superlative rousing', hands down critical high point of promise.

In all honesty, despite my best efforts to find it so, HN/FOB was neither as gripping & scary as '42' nor quite as emotionally involving & charming as 'Gridlock' for example. I could not say it was streets ahead of the better episodes of this season in any department. I am still hopeful to find the level of storytelling & tele-visual mastery that I expected from this eagerly anticipated opus later in the season, but as the weeks wind down, it seems less & less likely. I hope this was not the height of ambition & craftsmanship for the season.

I also recant my criticism of Freema last week (The Co-Pilot could be forgiven for calling me an 'intellectual muscle mary', or another suitable (loving) barb to that effect, on this point). I was wrong. I can't really pinpoint what I thought was lacking in her performance in 'Human Nature'. She is lovely to watch, disarmingly open & genuine. What a gem!

The Co-Pilot thought Tennant's performance was palpably lacking at some critical moments. I am a little less critical of him, but I see what he's getting at. This was his chance to give an era-high 'incarnation defining' performance (ala Tom Baker in 'Talons' or perhaps Troughton in 'EOTD') If the answer to whether he nailed it or not in that sense has to be 'yes' or 'no', the answer is, sadly, no. Come on Dave, I know you can! I thought he might be heading towards that auspicious crown during Human Nature, during which I found his performance to be charming & full of life & careful nuance, but he got the wobbles a bit in Family Of Blood.

However, that said, if Tom Baker & Troughton were forced by their scripts to keep making awkwardly adolescent offers to 'go steady' through time & space with them, to bits of crumpet they'd just met, I wonder if their performances would have been the flawlessly great ones we have to cherish in those previously mentioned stories. It has happened too often & it is frankly absurd that a character we have watched travel for aeons as a happily detached alien, has now offered his charms, in a wildly out of character manner, to at least 3 or 4 women he has just met in the space of about 20 episodes. Ludicrous. Ms Tate's excerable trainwreck being the most ludicrous example.

Even though 'Family of Blood' was a clear step down from a fairly strong set up in 'Human Nature', as a whole it was still quite polished & certainly never an embarrasment to the Dr Who canon. The young chap playing Tim Latimer was fantastic as was the young lad who played Baines. He gave a marvellously alien & disturbed performance which left the rest of his rag tag family in the dust. Although, as the Co-Pilot noted, he seemed disconcertingly alien even before he was possessed which lessened the impact. I liked the last scene between Latimer & the Doctor. It was quite charming & had a magic about it that helped slightly to alieviate my disappointment with the minutes prior.

Anyway, I've gone on too long this week after my miserly output last week.

Love & other bruises, The Lucozer.

The whiff of brilliance?! - A 'Human Nature' review from the desk of the Lucozer...

If I was to wax away about the good aspects of this weeks episode, I would be writing until the wee hours. As it happens, I'm hungry, tired & a little grumpy, so I'll just point out the problems with 'Human Nature' & anything I DON'T mention..well..you can assume it was masterful, gripping or fabulous, whichever you prefer. Or perhaps various combinations of the three? Up to you entirely my loves! The myriad of exciting permutations are virtually endless as you will see...well, at least 4, no...5, hold on...

Anyway, the scarecrows look a smidge silly in the bright lights of the dance hall under the harsh of eye of the digital camera. I would dearly have loved to have seen them on grainy early 70's style film stock (ala Silurians & Ice Warriors). Alas, 'tis nigh on impossible to find such pleasures these days. They do look great lurching across overcast corn fields though. Their movements were somewhat variable too. Some of the actors got it right, others looked as if they were auditioning for an RTD christmas panto version of the Elephant Man (claw!, hiss!! goes the Lucozer)

The last scene in the dance hall was a bit awkward & stagey don't you think chums? The previously subtle & refined dialouge turned all soapy & melodramatic for the big showstopping 'her or her' cliffhanger set-piece. 'Twas a bit of an anti-climax for mine. The lack of believability deflated the tension just as it was meant to be raised.

What else...Freema struggling a little this week perhaps?. The plot ambiguities & the 'acting within acting' may have wrongfooted her a little, but she's still smashing & the Sun can get *&^%. She's staying put!

So yeah! Next week! Rah rah rah!!! I'm doing a solo cheer leader pyramid. That's probably naughtier sounding that I intended it to sound. So fabulous! Leave that with you....


;) The Lucozer.

5, 6, 7, 8 - WHAT DO I APPRECIATE?!

Scores out of 10...with comments where I had them...


#5. PETER DAVISON

CASTROVALVA - 6.5
FOUR TO DOOMSDAY - 5.5
KINDA - 7.5
VISITATION - 6.5
BLACK ORCHID - 7
EARTHSHOCK - 8.5
TIME FLIGHT - 5 ("Shurrah sharubbish!")

ARC OF INFINITY - 6
SNAKEDANCE - 7
MAWDRYN UNDEAD - 7.5
TERMINUS - 6.5
ENLIGHTENMENT - 8.5 (Lynda's Wrack wasn't the only impressive quality!)
KING'S DEMONS - 7
FIVE DOCTORS - 8.5

WARRIORS OF THE DEEP - 6
AWAKENING - 7
FRONTIOS - 7
RESURRECTION OF THE DALEKS - 8
PLANET OF FIRE - 7.5
CAVES OF ANDROZANI - 9 (Morgnificent!)


#6. COLIN BAKER

TWIN DILEMMA - 4.5 (What dilemma? Whether to ever watch Dr Who again?)

ATTACK OF THE CYBERMEN - 7
VENGEANCE ON VAROS - 7.5
MARK OF THE RANI - 6.5
TWO DOCTORS - 7 (Pat scores about 4 of the 7 pats on the head here)
TIMELASH - 5 (Turdsplash!! sorry, it's just too easy with this one, I've got more..)
REVELATION OF THE DALEKS - 7.5

MYSTERIOUS PLANET - 7.5
MINDWARP - 5 (Komplete Yrcarwreck!)
TERROR OF THE VERVOIDS - 6.5
ULTIMATE FOE - 6.5


#7. SYLVESTER McCOY

TIME & THE RANI - 4 ("I have the overactyl, nothing can save Dr Who now!")
PARADISE TOWERS - 6.5
DELTA & THE BANNERMEN - 5 ("Here's to the poo-ture! crud is the answer!")
DRAGONFIRE - 6.5

REMEMBERANCE OF THE DALEKS - 8 (Nice one Keff!, you lost it a whole point)
HAPPINESS PATROL - 8
SILVER NEMESIS - 6.5
GREATEST SHOW IN THE GALAXY - 7.5

BATTLEFIELD - 6 (That muscle mary the Destroyer sums this up..all huff..no puff!)
GHOSTLIGHT - 8.5
CURSE OF FENRIC - 9
SURVIVAL - 7.5


#8 - PAUL McGANN

ENEMY WITHIN - 6 (McGann Whoknighted...9, Eric-ham Robertspur..Nil)


Thanks loves...The Lucozer