I have held off on reviewing 'Last Of The Time Lords' for several weeks. I have now seen it twice & have had several weeks to sit with it & ruminate over it. My considered opinion? An inept, embarrasing & deeply frustrating travesty!
Here's why...Firstly; the casual off-handed nastiness of it. The Doctor has a dog bowl & lives in a tent with hay on the floor...Fabulous darlings!!...thought the Production Office! How wonderfully degrading! Oh! I know!... let's chuck a plastic pop song over it & have a whole glitzy montage of the Doctor's miseries inflicted by the Master. If you have to show the Doctor suffering (which is fine because it creates drama & makes his final victory sweeter) don't be so damned flip about it Russell & Co! Also, the shrinking Doctor looked utterly ridiculous. He was shrunk basically to make the Master seem more intimdating by comparison. This is lazy writing. Make the Master seem more intimidating by his deeds, his words & by the acting performance. As if the Doctor would shrink with age anyway? This is just arrant silliness. A chance to create a second rate Yoda/ Lord of the Rings type of gimp. And what was with the big eyes? "Oh we have to make him look REALLY sad because the viewers won't be able to just imagine that or draw their own conclusions". Why the oversize head? "oh we have to make him look tragic yet also strangely cute of course!"
The most disappointing thing however was the inexcusable laziness of the """RESOLUTION""" of Martha's character. If the unrequited love storyline was going to prove such an unresolvable problem, why push her character that way all season? We are robbed of the chance of watching her character develop slowly in confidence & wisdom next season by having her turned into a cliche no-nonsense action woman on a quest for "oh I don't know...a year?!, Let's make it seem REALLY dramatic" & writing her out for the lions' share of next season. A one minute montage of Martha sludging through snow & sleet for a year doesn't cut it for character development I'm afraid. Lazy, lazy, lazy. It seems the Production Office believes nothing gives a greater sense of drama than casually upping the scope?! A silly slitheen attack? Let's call it WW3!, Dalek & Cybermen trouble?, it's Doomdsay!!! Also, as the Co-Pilot pointed out, the casual reference to Japan burning after the Toclaphane attacks; show it damn it!! Big words, no action.
I won't delve into the ridiculous religious iconography & "magical" conclusion that 'flipped the bird' to hard science & credibility. Suffice to say it was rubbish. The delicate Paradox machine that the Doctor didn't want to breathe or even think too hard near lest he rattle it & break its concentration? Let's get Captain Jack to shoot from the crotch at it like a bi-sexual John Rambo. Everyone will have forgotten it's so delicate after the fabulous diva like re-birth of the Doctor & Murray Gold laying on the gluggy treacle. Anything's possible with magic! (and when you need to wrap up a ridiculously convoluted plot, a character (Martha) & a whole season in about 4 minutes)
'Sound Of Drums' was flawed, but fun & I really hoped the game would be lifted for this, alas it was an absolute fizzer. :( :( :(
A grumpy Lucozer...
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
Sunday, September 23, 2007
'Sontaron Shit-Sandwich' or 'A Vardan Pardon'? 'Invasion of Time' gets the once over.
The Co-Pilot & I bunkered down to watch 'Invasion of Time' with some take away Indian last night. We've decided to re-appraise some of the Tom Baker stories we have written off as a load of old tosh & try & come at them with open (but lubricatingly alcohol impaired) minds. We'll probably tackle the blandarama 'Underworld' next, but for now... 'Invasion of Time'
We had to start with episode 2 as episode 1 was on another tape & I didn't notice when I hurriedly grabbed it to take to the Co-Pilot's house. We took up the story with the Doctor accessing the Matrix with the coronet on his head....
Despite evidence of a tired & penniless production at this point, even before the revelation of the risible tin-foil Vardans & some other blushing set design disasters, it is actually quite involving & mercifully played pretty straight. I was immediately struck by the powerful performance from Tom & John Arnatt's beautifully underplayed Borusa. They have some wonderful scenes together; the scene where Borusa realises he has learned from his old student & also when Tom bellows at him with shocking intensity come to mind. Sadly, after episode 2, a cheap looking but seemingly worthy story degenerates rapidly into a panto runaround & not even the brilliance of Baker & Arnatt can save it from ho-hum ignominy.
On a brief tangent; Toms' lines to camera have been criticised, but I think they're quite fab. Also, in terms of them damaging the dramatic credibility, you can almost excuse them as part of the Doctor shielding his thoughts by distracting himself with silliness & talking to himself. I might be drawing too long a bow there though? You could almost say this story is the turning point for Tom in terms of his Hinchcliffe-era versus Williams-era performance styles. He seems as if he is valiantly trying to deliver one final 'Hinchcliffe-era-worthy' performance before finally giving in to the seemingly inevitable panto silliness of the Williams era by the end of the story.
Apart from TB & Arnatt & to a lesser extent Milton Johns & Louise, just about everything & everyone is diabolical. Firstly, just how bad is the design? oh let me count the ways! shabby brick wall Tardis corridors, Tardis keys that look like failed year 9 Tech Studies plastics projects, control boards that look like kindergarten play-dough models, 'Gallifreyan' banana lounges on loan from the local pool, The Tech Studies workshop where they found the 'keys' doubling for the Gallifreyan Defence shield control room!? Just a sample of the many breathtaking design wonder-blunders that Invasion of Time has to offer. Only 'Underworld' arguably looks cheaper & this makes 'Nightmare Of Eden' look like it had millions thrown at it. The nadir of drab povvo Dr Who set design? Just maybe.
& then there's the Vardans; crap as shimmering tin foil, arguably worse in humanoid form with their ridiculous space soldier outfits & backpack rocket boosters. The performance of the lead Vardan is excruciatingly stilted & to make things worse his fellow Vardans just stand there looking bored (& don't even pull that off) & then there's the Sontarans!! Everytime I think I've mentioned the shoddiest thing, something even more crap springs to mind. Derek Deadman's Stor is unforgiveably woeful & his lieutenant? is worse... "They seem...to have sealed the door...with some kind of...locking...device!" One of the worst delivered lines in the history of the show. All their lines are stammered out in constipated emphysemic Cockney drawls. Dreadful. The superb Sontaron mask that looked convincingly like creepy alien flesh in 'Time Warrior' looks here like the ill-fitted papier mache travesty it was. Come back John Friedlander!!! Even the helmet that once looked like a tough polished metal now looks like poorly painted foam with eye holes poked through & the 'Sontaron Emblem' seems to have been coloured on with chalk in about 5 seconds. Uugh!
Yet more shizen!..Andred is wobbly when he's not wooden. The Shaboogans are laughable; they've managed to fashion clothes, find food & shave themselves in the barren wasteland? Despite Louise Jameson's best efforts, Leela teeters on charicature of her earlier self & her falling for Andred was not even hinted at. How late was that decided? During the filming of the last scene? Whoops! I suppose she looked into his eyes when putting the bandage on his wounded arm & fell hard for the dorky Gallifreyan guard. Well it was obvious wasn't it! Louise deserved better for her swansong. What else....Run, run, pad, pad, pad. Pretty wretched. But for Tom & John Arnatt; Laurels darling! laurels & wreaths!
To be fair to Graham Williams (who co-wrote it) Tom does have some great lines & the CONCEPT of the Vardans is a good one. It was also made with his tiny production wallet empty & had to be written, designed & played at the 11th hour due to another story falling through. However, excuses don't make good Doctor Who chums &; like wet gun powder, leave a sticky mess in the canon!
"Get out!! Get out!!!!"...Lucozer
We had to start with episode 2 as episode 1 was on another tape & I didn't notice when I hurriedly grabbed it to take to the Co-Pilot's house. We took up the story with the Doctor accessing the Matrix with the coronet on his head....
Despite evidence of a tired & penniless production at this point, even before the revelation of the risible tin-foil Vardans & some other blushing set design disasters, it is actually quite involving & mercifully played pretty straight. I was immediately struck by the powerful performance from Tom & John Arnatt's beautifully underplayed Borusa. They have some wonderful scenes together; the scene where Borusa realises he has learned from his old student & also when Tom bellows at him with shocking intensity come to mind. Sadly, after episode 2, a cheap looking but seemingly worthy story degenerates rapidly into a panto runaround & not even the brilliance of Baker & Arnatt can save it from ho-hum ignominy.
On a brief tangent; Toms' lines to camera have been criticised, but I think they're quite fab. Also, in terms of them damaging the dramatic credibility, you can almost excuse them as part of the Doctor shielding his thoughts by distracting himself with silliness & talking to himself. I might be drawing too long a bow there though? You could almost say this story is the turning point for Tom in terms of his Hinchcliffe-era versus Williams-era performance styles. He seems as if he is valiantly trying to deliver one final 'Hinchcliffe-era-worthy' performance before finally giving in to the seemingly inevitable panto silliness of the Williams era by the end of the story.
Apart from TB & Arnatt & to a lesser extent Milton Johns & Louise, just about everything & everyone is diabolical. Firstly, just how bad is the design? oh let me count the ways! shabby brick wall Tardis corridors, Tardis keys that look like failed year 9 Tech Studies plastics projects, control boards that look like kindergarten play-dough models, 'Gallifreyan' banana lounges on loan from the local pool, The Tech Studies workshop where they found the 'keys' doubling for the Gallifreyan Defence shield control room!? Just a sample of the many breathtaking design wonder-blunders that Invasion of Time has to offer. Only 'Underworld' arguably looks cheaper & this makes 'Nightmare Of Eden' look like it had millions thrown at it. The nadir of drab povvo Dr Who set design? Just maybe.
& then there's the Vardans; crap as shimmering tin foil, arguably worse in humanoid form with their ridiculous space soldier outfits & backpack rocket boosters. The performance of the lead Vardan is excruciatingly stilted & to make things worse his fellow Vardans just stand there looking bored (& don't even pull that off) & then there's the Sontarans!! Everytime I think I've mentioned the shoddiest thing, something even more crap springs to mind. Derek Deadman's Stor is unforgiveably woeful & his lieutenant? is worse... "They seem...to have sealed the door...with some kind of...locking...device!" One of the worst delivered lines in the history of the show. All their lines are stammered out in constipated emphysemic Cockney drawls. Dreadful. The superb Sontaron mask that looked convincingly like creepy alien flesh in 'Time Warrior' looks here like the ill-fitted papier mache travesty it was. Come back John Friedlander!!! Even the helmet that once looked like a tough polished metal now looks like poorly painted foam with eye holes poked through & the 'Sontaron Emblem' seems to have been coloured on with chalk in about 5 seconds. Uugh!
Yet more shizen!..Andred is wobbly when he's not wooden. The Shaboogans are laughable; they've managed to fashion clothes, find food & shave themselves in the barren wasteland? Despite Louise Jameson's best efforts, Leela teeters on charicature of her earlier self & her falling for Andred was not even hinted at. How late was that decided? During the filming of the last scene? Whoops! I suppose she looked into his eyes when putting the bandage on his wounded arm & fell hard for the dorky Gallifreyan guard. Well it was obvious wasn't it! Louise deserved better for her swansong. What else....Run, run, pad, pad, pad. Pretty wretched. But for Tom & John Arnatt; Laurels darling! laurels & wreaths!
To be fair to Graham Williams (who co-wrote it) Tom does have some great lines & the CONCEPT of the Vardans is a good one. It was also made with his tiny production wallet empty & had to be written, designed & played at the 11th hour due to another story falling through. However, excuses don't make good Doctor Who chums &; like wet gun powder, leave a sticky mess in the canon!
"Get out!! Get out!!!!"...Lucozer
Friday, September 7, 2007
Doctor Who & the 'Web of jolly-well-not-very Clear'!!!
Oh that it were true! That 'Web of Fear' could be returned to the BBC vaults from where it was so cruelly cast out back in the late 70's!
Even if this rumour turns out to be a particularly nasty hoax, I am amazed at the timing of it. Reason being that the Co-Pilot & I, a mere 5 nights ago, sat down to watch the two (until now?) remaining Yeti episodes together. We had never watched those episodes paired in a 'Yeti fest' sense. In fact, of the two eps, the only one we'd seen together was Abom 2 & that was about 15 years ago on 'The Troughton Years' VHS. Our little Yeti moment may now be followed by a Yeti bonanza!! Pure chance?, spooky coincidence?, or something much more fabulous?? who knows!!
A few thoughts on:
Abominable Snowmen 2 -
Fairly slow moving but marvellously atmospheric. Well acted, superb set design. The outdoor film shots look superb; so crisp. An underrated, quiet gem.
Web Of Fear 1 -
Some great moments. The Hammer Horror style scenes in the museum are striking. Pat, Frazer & even Deb are all on good form. The tunnel scenes look superb. The letdowns are Jack Watling's wretched 'huffing old man' turn & the stilted scenes in the military base. I'm sad to say the episode overall is a middling effort from the otherwise masterful Mr Camfield. I hope it gets better after the somewhat shaky start & I certainly hope we will soon find out!!
The Lucozer (plugging up his fan boy saliva ducts, but hoping to soon let them flow!)
Monday, September 3, 2007
"What You Talkin' 'Bout Bilis!!???"
The Co-Pilot & I are very proud to announce the launch of a brand new addition to the 'wonderful worlds of Wuundanoogoo'. A new semi-regular segment; "What You Talkin' 'Bout Bilis!??".
It is in this 'domain' that we will discuss the more strange & contentious issues relating to the 'classic series' & also the frankly bizarre rumours that are sifting through to fandom regarding the forthcoming season 4...
Will ancient soap-sud Joan Collins steal the Rani's """sonic screwdriver""" from Kate O'Mara in a nasty Dynasty-esque cat-fight? Has RTD realised that he unconciously wrote 'Love & Monsters' as a particularly vicious satire on himself & his relationship with the show & fandom? Further to this; has RTD now absorbed Peter Kay so that he can assume his rightful role as the 'Abzorbaloff' in a season 4 return appearance?? It does seems rather likely to us here at Wuundanoogoo.
Stay tuned...and remember...if someone is talking absolute s@*t, you'll hear about it, at...
"What You Talkin' Bout Bilis!??".....
It is in this 'domain' that we will discuss the more strange & contentious issues relating to the 'classic series' & also the frankly bizarre rumours that are sifting through to fandom regarding the forthcoming season 4...
Will ancient soap-sud Joan Collins steal the Rani's """sonic screwdriver""" from Kate O'Mara in a nasty Dynasty-esque cat-fight? Has RTD realised that he unconciously wrote 'Love & Monsters' as a particularly vicious satire on himself & his relationship with the show & fandom? Further to this; has RTD now absorbed Peter Kay so that he can assume his rightful role as the 'Abzorbaloff' in a season 4 return appearance?? It does seems rather likely to us here at Wuundanoogoo.
Stay tuned...and remember...if someone is talking absolute s@*t, you'll hear about it, at...
"What You Talkin' Bout Bilis!??".....
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